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storiesforallfandoms · 2 months ago

Text

icdiwabh ~ joseph quinn

word count: 3688

request?: no

description: after finding out that her recently broken up with ex is already in a new relationship, she puts on a happy face for the public. but she can't do the same with him

pairing: joseph quinn x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty angst, rpf, use of y/n

based on this song

masterlist (one, two, three)

To give her credit, my best friend and guitarist, Chloe, tried her best to keep me from looking at my phone before our show. And it was working. I didn't even think anything of it, just that we were goofing off before a show as usual.

And then my phone chimed with a text from my mom. She always sent me a good luck text before a show. I unlocked my phone to respond, then saw that my social media notifications were blowing up more than usual.

I shouldn't have looked, but you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.

I opened Twitter to see I was being mentioned a lot. Mainly in replies to other tweets, and most of the tweets were along the lines of, "What happened to @(Y/U/N)?" I clicked on one to see what that context was, and was brought to a tweet from Pop Crave.

"Joseph Quinn photographed on a date with Doja Cat," followed by various photos of my ex-boyfriend getting cozy with another woman.

I felt my heart drop and break into millions of pieces.

I know what you're thinking: why would seeing my ex moving on hurt so much? It's not like we were together. We were both free to see whoever we wanted now. But there were a few reasons this news was upsetting; for one, we had only broken up three months ago, which apparently is around the time when these pictures were taken. Second, Joseph had broken up with me due to the fact that I was a singer, which meant we didn't get to spend as much time together as either of us would've wanted. I understood at the time. I mean, of course the break up still hurt, but I kind of knew it was coming when things between us had felt different the last month or so of our relationship.

Then there was the biggest reason: Doja was the woman he told me not to worry about.

I am not joking.

Joseph and I were together when the whole Doja versus Noah stuff happened online. We both laughed about it at the time, and i had jokingly asked Joseph, "Should I worry about you getting stolen away by Doja Cat?" He had wrapped me in his arms, kissed me, and said of course not.

Obviously, that had changed.

Chloe found me just as the tears started to fall. She was quick to hug me and whisper comforting words.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," she said. "But we have to get to the stage."

Performing was the last thing on my mind, but I had thousands of fans waiting for me. I couldn't let them down just because I was heartbroken.

I followed Chloe to take my place. I wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping my face wasn't too red or puffy. Our backstage crew passed me my microphone as the countdown for the show to start started in my earpiece. I took a deep, calming breath, pushing everything out of my mind. As the blinding stage lights hit me, I put on my best show smile.

~~~~~~

The next few weeks were tough. I had to go on a full social media hiatus, meaning I deleted all social media apps from my phone to keep myself from seeing any more updates on Joseph and Doja. Chloe took up posting on my accounts so no one suspected anything. We had already decided the best course of action was to ignore the questions and comments, and to pretend like the news didn't even hurt me.

But it did. It hurt me more than any words could ever describe. Having to go on stage two to three nights a week and sing the love songs I wrote about him made it even harder. I struggled to keep it together on stage sometimes. I saved the emotions for when I'd get back to the hotel or the tour bus. Then I'd be able to cry until my eyes hurt and were too heavy to stay awake.

Some nights were sleepless, though. On those nights, I'd usually just lay awake or try to use one of the streaming services on my phone to distract myself. One night, I found myself too hungry to be distracted. My stomach was rumbling enough that I could hardly hear the show I was watching. After some quick Googling, I found a 24 hour diner that seemed like it would be slow enough for me to go without being recgonized.

I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy hoodie with the hood up to cover my face. I put my phone and my hotel room key in my pocket, and left to make my way to the diner.

As I expected, there weren't many people there. Maybe one table with two young ladies sat there, plus the workers. I kept my hood up anyways as I ordered, just in case. The host who took my order did look at me like he may have known who I was, but he didn't say anything.

My plan was to get my food and take it back to the hotel to eat it. But that plan was quickly changed when a familiar British voice said, "(Y/N)?"

I froze. There was no way he was actually here. It had to be a figment of my imagination. A hallucination made up by my misery over the breakup and his quick moving on.

But when I looked up, there he was. He was also in a hoodie and sweatpants, but was doing less to hide his identity. Actually, nothing to hide his identity. I couldn't help but glance around to make sure no one was looking at us or there was no paparazzi that had followed him and started snapping photos.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked, then realized it was a stupid question and winced at myself.

"That's...um...my hoodie."

I looked down and realized that he was right. I hadn't even noticed that I had it, even when I packed it for the tour.

"I was wondering where it went," he said with a little smile.

"Here it is," I said, lamely flourishing my hands. "I'd offer to give it back, but I'm not wearing anything underneath."

I saw him swallow at my comment. I thought I saw a tinge of pink creeping onto his cheeks, but I figured it must've been the lighting or something. There was no way I could still make him blush when he obviously had no feelings for me anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm in town shooting the Fantastic Four movie," he explained. "I just finished a late shoot, so I stopped in for something to eat. What are you doing here?"

"I had a show tonight. I couldn't sleep, and I'm hungry. So..." I did my lame flourish again.

"Oh yes. The post-show adrenaline."

I ground my teeth to keep from saying anything. The weeks of sadness and misery suddenly vanished and became anger. I was angry at him for reminding me that he knew me so well. That we had shared memories on sleepless nights like this. I was also angry that he didn't think our breakup and his quick moving on would be the cause of my sleeplessness. Did he think I didn't know? Or just that I'd be okay with him and his new girlfriend mere weeks after our two year long relationship ended?

I just shrugged in response.

My order was called and I quickly grabbed it. I turned to give Joseph a wave as a goodbye. I needed to get out of there and get back to my hotel room to wallow in my dispair.

But it seemed Joseph had other plans, as he stopped me before I could leave. "Do you want to sit? Maybe...catch up?"

"Is that a good idea?" I asked.

"I don't see why it wouldn't be."

"You don't want your new girlfriend to see paparazzi photos of you with your ex."

There, it was finally out. No more tiptoeing around the topic.

It seemed to have its desired effect as Joseph was now awkwardly shuffling. He rubbed the back of his neck, which was now undoubtably turning pink. "So, you've heard."

"Of course I heard!" I snapped. I glanced around again, realizing I was raising my voice. "Your pictures are everywhere, and I'm being tagged in them cause we never told everyone we had broken up."

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

I scoffed. "How else was I going to find out? Were you going to call me and tell me you were dating the girl you said wasn't a threat to our relationship?"

He sighed. Before he could say anything else, they called that another order was ready, and evidently it was his. It was also packed in a to go bag, so he clearly had no intentions of staying either. With any luck, he'd drop this stupid idea of sitting down for a "catch up" and let me leave to deal with all the emptions I was feeling.

But of course, luck was not on my side.

Joseph grabbed his food and turned back to me. "Just...sit with me for 15 minutes at least. Let me explain."

Even though I very much wanted an explanation, I said, "You don't have to explain anything."

"Just...please, (Y/N)."

And that's how I found myself sat in a booth that was tucked away, in the middle of the night with my ex-boyfriend.

It was a bad idea, and I knew that. Besides the fact that I definitely should not be sitting down with the ex that I had been in shambles over for weeks, it was also a bad idea publicity wise. Joseph wasn't trying to hide himself. Anyone could see us and snap a picture, or call paparazzi to make a quick buck. Even with me trying to hide myself, someone would eventually put the pieces together to realize it was me. Then we'd have a whole new shit show on our hands.

I opened my food and started to eat. There was no point in letting it go cold and completely ruin my night. Joseph wasn't as quick to do the same. He was watching me. When I realized he wasn't eating, I made a gesture for him to start talking.

"Is there anything specific you want to know?" he asked.

Well, that was a stupid question. There was a lot I wanted to know. So much so that I knew we'd be here way longer than 15 minutes if I asked it all.

I decided to ask him the most prominent question on my mind: "Did you leave me for her?"

He seemed stunned by my question. "No! No, of course I didn't. Why would you think that?"

I gave him a look. "Come on, Joseph. We both know why I'd think that."

He shuffled in his seat. "It's not like that."

"Then explain it. That's the whole reason I'm sat here."

So he did. He told me he met Doja (he used her real name, which made my stomach churn) at her concert. He had gone with a few friends, and when she found out he was there she brought them backstage to meet her. He swore it was all casual at first, that they were just friendly and were making light of the situation between her and Noah. When things started changing, he swore it was just a rebound thing.

"I never meant for it to become anything more," he insisted. "I was still so hurt. I just wanted something that would take my mind off of the pain."

I couldn't hold back the scoff that escaped my lips. "What?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "I'm just so sorry to hear that you were hurting."

"What, you don't think our breakup was hard for me?"

"Weirdly enough, no, I didn't think you took things hard when you dumped me."

Joseph sighed. "It wasn't - "

"And you know what else?" I cut him off. "You told me you found it hard for us to be together because of our professions. And, honestly, I understood! If you weren't away filming, I was away touring. If you weren't doing press for a movie or show, I was doing press for an album. It wasn't easy, and while I was willing to go through those strifes for us, I did understand how it could be too difficult for you. But then you turned around, not even a month after you dumped me, and started dating another singer."

He was quiet. He couldn't even meet my eye.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, and my voice cracked as I said, "If you didn't love me anymore, you could've just said that."

He looked up at me quickly. "That's not - "

He was cut off again. Not by me this time, but by his phone. Someone was calling him. When I looked at the screen, I saw her name. It felt like a knife directly through my heart.

I packed my food and stood. Joseph looked like he was going to say something, but I put a hand up to stop him. "Answer your girlfriend, Joseph."

He didn't try to stop me when I left this time.

~~~~~~

As I expected, photos of Joseph and I got out. I didn't know to what extent as I still wasn't back on social media. My manager confronted me about it and I explained what had happened. She wasn't upset as I wasn't the one who hadn't been concealing my identity, and she agreed that the best course of action was just to ignore everything until it blew over.

Another two months passed and the tour finally ended. It became easier to perform as the time went on. Not completely easy, and I did have a night or two where I slipped up and got emotional on stage, but eventually I was able to put the meanings of my songs aside and just performed them for my fans. I knew some nights weren't as great as others, but I got through it, and finally I was going to have a break.

Chloe reluctantly agreed to let me have my social media back. I was still hurting a little, but I told her I couldn't isolate myself forever. It just wasn't healthy. Besides, I would need something to keep me occupied while I was home, besides just watching mind numbing reality TV. She finally relented when I told her she could watch me block the words "Joseph Quinn" and "Doja Cat" on all social media so that I wouldn't have to see any posts about them.

I was honestly surprised to find that I didn't want to look up anything to do with them. For a long time, the desire to know about their relationship was eating away at me. There were so many specifics I felt like I needed to know, but I eventually realized that I was just going to hurt myself further if I looked into them. Of course, I didn't completely stop thinking about Joseph. I didn't expect to. We had been together for two years, almost moved in with one another. I thought we were going to get married. You don't just let that go easily. But at least it was getting a little easier to live in a world where he was no longer mine.

On one particularly nice day, I decided to go out on the balcony to read. It was one of those fall days where the sun was out and there was a little heat coming from it, but not enough that it was unbearable. A slight breeze would blow through every so often, just cool enough to keep it tolerable outside. I was laid back in one of my deck chairs, engrossed in my book to a point that I hadn't heard someone approaching.

"Must be an interesting novel."

I jumped at the sound of a voice coming from my driveway below. I bookmarked my page and sat up to see the last person I wanted to be around. "What are you doing here, Joseph?"

"I just got back from filming."

"Good for you."

"I...I was hoping you were home."

"Well, you see that I am. Don't let the gate hit you on the way out."

"(Y/N), can we just talk?"

I stood from my seat and leaned over the balcony railing to look at him. "We said all there was to say in that diner months ago. There's nothing else to be talked about. Besides, do you want more pictures of us to come out? I'm sure Doja wouldn't be happy to see her man making a personal visit to his ex's place."

"We broke up!"

I stopped. "What?"

"Last month. It was all over social media, or so Lupita tells me." He tilted his head. "You didn't hear?"

"I-I blocked yours and Doja's names on social media so I wouldn't have to see any tweets or posts about you."

Joseph looked at me for a moment before barking out a laugh. I couldn't help but put a hand over my face as I laughed as well. Of course, by trying to block him out completely, I had totally missed the one thing I would've wanted to see.

I was a bit reluctant, but eventually I invited Joseph to come up. He knew his way through my place, he had been there enough times. I sat back down on my deck chair and pulled another one closer to me, as he appeared in the glass doorway. He sat down next to me and memories of all the times we had been out here flooded back to me.

"I wasn't done talking that night in the diner," he said. "I still had so much to say, and I have even more to say now."

"I didn't want to hear it," I admitted. "In my mind, after hearing how you and Doja got together, it just made more sense if you had broken up with me because you didn't love me anymore."

He shook his head. "It wasn't that at all. I never stopped loving you."

I was itching to ask him if that meant he still loved me now, but instead I said, "Then why?"

"I broke up with you because I loved you so much," he said. "Because loving you but not getting to spend time with you hurt so much, and I knew there was no way around that. When I started getting more job offers I knew things were just going to get so much busier for me, and that our already very short time together was going to dwindle down more and more, and I hated the thought of that."

"I would've taken a break," I told him.

"I couldn't ask you to do that. You love making music and performing. I could never ask you to stop doing that, or to change that. I thought the best thing for you would be if you could find someone who wasn't as busy, and who'd be able to go on tour with you and be at all your shows. Someone who wouldn't be in a different time zone basically 11 months out of a year and only be able to call you for an hour max every night."

"But what if that's not what I want?" I asked. "Yes, it was hard not to get to see you all the time, but I never would've traded that for anything else. I was so proud of you for all those roles you were getting, and even if I only got to talk to you for a few minutes, I loved getting to hear what you were doing. Because you were achieving your dream, and I got to be there to experience it. I don't want someone who can be with me all the time, I want you."

I hadn't noticed that we were both sat on the edge of our chairs. We were so close we were almost touching. I could smell the familiar scent of his cologne and it was making my heart skip a few beats.

"I should've talked to you instead of deciding just to end things," he said, his voice soft and quiet.

"You should've," I agreed. "And then if you were going to rebound, you shouldn't have done it with the girl you told me not to worry about."

He awkwardly chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, not my finest moment."

I sat back in my chair, although I didn't want to. I wanted to keep being this close to him, or maybe to get closer. "So why did you two breakup anyways?"

"She was nice and all, but she wasn't you."

We sat in silence, letting his words sink in. He was looking at me, almost like he was waiting. Maybe I was waiting, too, to see where that confession was supposed to go. After a few moments, my body moved before my mind could comprehend what was happening. I quickly leaned forward, nearly putting myself on Joseph's lap, and started kissing him. He kissed me back immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me the rest of the way onto his lap.

"I missed you," he mumbled against my lips.

"I missed you too," I admitted. I pulled away to add, "But don't think you're completely off the hook. You did still hurt me, you know."

"I know I did. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for it if I have to."

I smiled. "I think I like the sound of that."

He smiled back at me and pulled me back in for another kiss. Eventually, my book was abandoned on the balcony, and the large blinds were closed to keep from anyone being able to see the reunion happening inside.

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn imagine #one shot #rpf #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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stursweet · 1 year ago

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towel

chris sturniolo

. . .

pairing ↝ f!reader x chris sturniolo

cw ↝ implied sex, don’t read if you’re not on board 🤗 not proofread

requested ↝ i got a request for something of this nature but i couldn’t find it in my inbox😔 if you requested this shawty this one for you!! you know who u are i love you pookie

AN ↝ my ass is back even though i haven’t posted since 500 BC !! IM SORRY GUYS I AM A BUSY FUCKIN BEE!! i hope you guys enjoy this even though it’s so short, i love you guys so much you’re my best friends REAL TALK!!! keep sending in requests and i’ll churn them shits out 💕 love you xoxoxo🫂🫂🫂

you turn the faucet, the water streaming from above you coming to an abrupt stop. instant goosebumps raise on your skin at the loss of heat. you step out and open a drawer, reaching for a towel.

instantaneously; a soft, almost inaudible knock at the door. he doesn’t wait for a response, pushing the door open and letting himself in. he had been waiting for you to finish for an hour or so.

“you were in there for a long time,” he comments, dropping his eyes and allowing them to drag along your body without a trace of shame, pushing his tongue into his cheek. you flush and wrap the towel around yourself.

“a knock would be nice,” you reply, pushing out a small, anxious laugh. he grins at your evident nerves.

“i did knock,” he shrugs, watching you hastily tighten the towel around your body. “why?” he continues. “am i not allowed to see?” he taunts you, watching you struggle to regain composure.

his hair is messy and wild, his lips pink and perfect. a small smirk plays at his mouth. he looks so tempting, so enticing. you look at him and shake your head.

“i never said that,” you reply, forcing the words from your throat. the steam from your shower made the air thick and hard to breathe; maybe it was just him.

he pads towards you gently, slowly, closing you in until your back is pressed against the back door of the shower. he dips his head down; peppering small, soft kisses across your neck, collarbones, shoulders. then, coming up to your face, pressing his lips to your cheeks, jawline, and eventually lips.

he hooks his fingers beneath the towel where it is tied on your chest, loosening it slowly and watching it fall. he rakes a hand down your body slowly, teasingly, resting it just above where you want him. his lips are swollen and wet with saliva from his giving of kisses. a teasing smile sits on his face.

“gonna let me make you feel good, baby?”

#sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo imagine #christopher sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo

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youremyheaven · 8 months ago

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The Outcaste Nakshatra Urge to be Anti-Establishment

Disclaimer: As an Indian, I find the caste categorization of nakshatras to be very icky ngl but that said I do find that it does aid in the understanding of the nature & behaviour of nakshatra natives. I do not want this post (or any post I make on a similar theme in the future) to be read to mean that it ties to caste in real life and how people of a certain caste behave irl (i honestly dont know how many of you're Indian or even know what caste is but yeah). Nakshatra caste is different from irl caste and not synonymous with each other.

Outcast nakshatras tend to rebel against the status quo and have views that are very anti-establishment. This is only natural/logical since its always people who suffer the brunt of the system that try to rebel against it or point out its faults as opposed to someone who only reaps the rewards/benefits of said system.

In Claire Nakti's video about wealth indicators in astrology, she mentioned how a debilitated Moon aka Moon in Scorpio/Jyeshta was prevalent in the charts of the billionaires and is a major wealth indicator. Whereas Moon in Rohini (which is Moon's exaltation) creates contentment which means there's no room for growth, it makes the native content to the point where they're in a state of stagnancy and decay since there's no inner motive for change or growth or transformation. Jyeshta does the opposite, they're internally conflicted, and lacking contentment, so they're driven to accumulate things externally, they keep pushing because they're constantly dissatisfied.

I am working on a separate post about Moon-dominant natives but I find this specific quality of Rohini to be very scary, I have known several Rohini Moon natives irl who were like this, they chose the easier, more comfortable path in life even though it was bound to rot them from the inside and after many years, the stagnancy gets to them and they struggle with the lack of meaning/emptiness they feel.

I mention this because its important to understand what causes a person to rebel against the order/system.

Outcaste/Mleccha (pronounced muh ley-cha) Nakshatras are Bharani, Ashlesha, Visakha and Shravana.

(pyramid diagram by me: sorry for this wonky ass pyramid idk what im doing, hope u understand)

little bit of a tangent: in an earlier post with @venussaidso we mentioned how Purvabhadrapada is seldom mentioned in discussions about Jupiter natives, in that post I said that the concluding naks of every planet kind of transcends its influence. I also feel like another reason Purvabhadrapada is kind of excluded from these conversations about Jupiter influence (even in Claire's latest video about Jupiter women, most of the focus was on Vishaka and Punarvasu with only a few token Purvabhadrapada natives thrown into the mix)

Looking at the above diagram, we can see that Vishaka is an outcaste nakshatra which is why it experiences these themes (referring to Claire saying Jupiter natives spend a lot of their lives feeling invisible, feeling like outcasts etc) the most acutely, followed by Punarvasu which is a Vaishya caste nakshatra which means it falls in the middle of the caste hierarchy but unlike the Brahmin & Kshatriya caste nakshatras who enjoy a fixed position in society by birth, Vaishya (which is merchant & farmer caste) enjoy relative privilege only due to their labour and if they fall on bad times, they may not have anything to fall back on. They're kind of the fringes of society if that makes sense because their position is not as secure as the Brahmins/Kshatriya caste naks. Obviously, they are not ostracized the way the Shudra & Outcaste nakshatras often are and given their position, its always possible for them to accumulate wealth and status and climb the ladder which is not an option available to the Shudra & Outcaste nakshatras.

Purvabhadrapada is a Brahmin caste nakshatra which is at the very top of the hierarchy. Even though its Jupiter ruled, it does not experience the Jupiterean themes of exclusion, ostracization, invisibility and the subsequent transformation to the same degree or extent. Its energies are different and not connected to the themes or experiences of Punarvasu & Vishaka which is perhaps why it's often excluded (even subconsciously).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the main topic,

Outcaste nakshatras are social outcasts who are not accepted into society, or who feel like they don't belong to mainstream society as they're unable to conform to its views & principles. They are ostracized either for existing or for their views and behaviour.

I'm only using this flow chart to depict the hierarchy so that it's easier to understand the dynamics of different nakshatras and I have no intention of hurting or causing harm to anyone in the name of caste

Outcaste nakshatras exist outside the hierarchy as they're not considered to be a part of the system but as those who do not belong on the hierarchy at all, they are given no place in society. This is disgusting and inhumane on every level but given their position its only understandable why Bharani, Ashlesha, Visakha and Shravana, who are the outcaste nakshatras behave the way they do or hold the opinions and ideas they do. They spend their whole lives feeling "othered", so it's easy for them to see the faults in the system as they've never benefitted from it. They are villainized by others and seen as bad people (Bharani & Shravana are Manushya (human) gana naks whereas Ashlesha & Vishaka are Rakshasa (demonic) gana naks, so I will say experiences across naks will vary)

This often manifests quite literally

Jennie, Vishaka Moon has received torrential hate even though she's arguably the biggest name in Kpop right now. (the video in question is not a hate video, its about why kpop stans have a tendency to blame Jennie for everything and how for many their hate towards the system as a whole is kind of directed at her because she's the face of the system for many).

Jennie was on the cover of Elle Icons Issue in 2023 and when asked what makes someone iconic, she said:

“Someone who clearly has their own opinions and thoughts, I think you’d only be able to be called an icon if you had the ability to ask others questions through your own perspective, rather than only share answers that everyone agrees on or stories everyone could like.”

This clearly reflects a tendency to challenge the status quo which she has done throughout her career, be it being a lingerie model (v unusual for a mainstream popular idol at the peak of their career), never addressing or apologizing for her dating scandals (imo nobody should have to apologize for dating someone but again its sadly the norm in the industry) or her "daring" concert outfit choices.

I've often suspected that Namjoon is perhaps Vishaka Rising because he's also always catching strays and received unsubstantiated hate over nothing. Plus given his transformation over the years, I feel like he really embodies Jupiter's extremes.

Anywayyyyy.

What does it mean to be a revolutionary? Someone who questions the way things are and refuses to conform and wages a movement, rebellion or uprising against the system can be described as a revolutionary. To think critically and to think outside the box (the box being society) has always been rare and very few people have had the audacity to question things and rise up against the system even at the risk of their own safety and perhaps relative privilege.

People who think radically and dare question the establishment are risking scrutiny, punishment, social exclusion among other things. Many movements are led by individuals who have outcaste naks but very often they're unable to amass support and remain lone wolves in the fringes of society disconnected or disillusioned by it all.

Karl Marx, Bharani Sun & Moon, Dhanishta Rising, Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka (also his chart ruler) and Ketu in Swati

Marx, whose critique of materialism and capitalism are still valid today lived and died in the 19th century but he foresaw the directions things would head in and literally its only gotten worse. He had his Sun & Moon in an outcaste nakshatra, his atmakaraka and chart ruler in Punarvasu which also experiences outcast themes, Dhanishta is Vaishya caste like Punarvasu (relative stability but not necessarily secure) and Swati is Shudra caste. Marx's early life was quite stable but his lawyer dad died when he was a teenager and since then he struggled with his finances and was often very poor and he died as a poor man as well.

Martin Luther King Jr- Mercury in Shravana (amatyakaraka), Venus in Shatabhisha (chart ruler), Bharani Rising

MLK Jr grew up during an era of racial segregation but his own family was a little better off that a lot of other African-American households at the time since his father was a church minister. Both him and his father spoke openly against racial segregation and demanded civil rights (including equal voting rights) for African-Americans. Like Marx who had spent the majority of his adult life in poverty and then criticized materialism & capitalism since he knew first hand what a life without safety nets looked like, MLK Jr experienced the cruelty and horrors of racial discrimination and rose against the system to demand better for himself and his people.

Mahatma Gandhi- Hasta Sun, Ashlesha Moon, Chitra Rising with Venus & Mars in Vishaka (amatyakaraka) and Ketu in Shravana

Gandhi was an anti-colonial nationalist who protested through non-violent movements. He grew up in a moderately well off family and studied in London and it was only later in life when he was working as a lawyer in South Africa and personally experienced discrimination due to his skin colour and ethnicity that he began to question all things British Empire. He had an arranged marriage at the age of 13 and as an adult he was staunchly opposed to the practice.

Nelson Mandela- Punarvasu Sun, Vishaka Moon, Mula Rising, Mercury conjunct Saturn in Ashlesha

All of these are either lower caste or out-caste nakshatras

Mandela spent 27 years in prison and then became the first President of South Africa. Mandela's early life was a relatively sheltered one as his father was a counsel to the monarch but then later lost his position. It was only in his adulthood as a law student that he had become "politicized" by witnessing the unfairness of the apartheid regime.

Che Guevera- Krittika Sun, Shatabhisha Moon, Venus in Bharani, Mars & Rising in UBP, Saturn in Jyeshta atmakaraka (and chart ruler) and Ketu in Jyeshta

Che grew up in an upper class family and was studying medicine at university when he went on a motorcycle journey, initially through his home country of Argentina and later through other parts of Latin America like Chile, Colombia, Ecuador etc and it was on this journey that he witnessed the suffering of people from poverty, hunger and disease and decided to leave medicine and pursue armed struggle to help them. He has a combination of low caste and outcaste nakshatras but his Sun is in a Brahmin nakshatra and his Mars & Rising are in UBP which is a Kshatriya or warrior nak which is interesting because Che never experienced poverty or discrimination in his life unlike all the people I've mentioned above and he believed armed struggle was the way to help people (that's the Warrior caste nak energy for u).

Arne Naess, Shravana Sun, Bharani moon & saturn (amatyakaraka) and Rohini Rising was a Norwegian philosopher and environmentalist. He coined the term "deep ecology" and is a very important figure in the environmental movement that originated in the late 20th century. He was an avid mountaineer and wrote most of his works in a mountain hut which significantly shaped his view of ecology and environment.

Again, we see how someone's experiences lead them to having the beliefs they do. I am not saying someone who hasn't had first hand experience of something cannot use their intellect to form an opinion about it (to support or not to support) but when its your lived experience you don't have the luxury of being detached from it which is why I emphasize this throughout the post. How the lived experiences of outcaste nak natives forces them to be radicals and revolutionaries.

Ted Kaczynski, Krittika Sun, Ashlesha Moon & Rising, Venus in Revati (exalted), Mars in Punarvasu & Ketu in Shatabhisha

I include him as a kind of cautionary tale because like I said before not every person who holds revolutionary ideas will be hailed as a hero.

Ted had a genius level IQ of 167 (higher than Einstein) and he graduated highschool at 16. He skipped 6th grade and by his own admission he felt very isolated among peers who were older than him. He later went to Harvard and then got his Masters & PhD (all in Math) from University of Michigan.

At Harvard, he spent 200 hours over the course of 3 years in Henry Murray's brutal psychology experiment along with many other students. Murray worked for US Intelligence and conducted mind-control experiments (suspected to be Project MK Ultra) of which this was a part. At the age of 25, he started teaching at Berkeley before quitting 3 years later in 1969 and spending the next 25 years living in an isolated cabin in the woods in Montana. Between 1978 and 1995, Kaczynski mailed or hand-delivered a series of increasingly sophisticated bombs that cumulatively killed three people and injured 23 others. He was captured and arrested and sentenced in life in prison where he committed suicide.

He had written a manifesto called "Industrial Society and its Future" where he said:

"The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race." He wrote that technology has had a destabilizing effect on society, has made life unfulfilling, and has caused widespread psychological suffering. Kaczynski argued that most people spend their time engaged in ultimately unfulfilling pursuits because of technological advances; he called these "surrogate activities", wherein people strive toward artificial goals, including scientific work, consumption of entertainment, political activism, and following sports teams. He predicted that further technological advances would lead to extensive and ultimately oppressive forms of human control, including genetic engineering, and that human beings would be adjusted to meet the needs of social systems rather than vice versa. Kaczynski stated that technological progress can be stopped, in contrast to the viewpoint of people who he said understand technology's negative effects yet passively accept technology as inevitable. He called for a revolution to force the collapse of the worldwide technological system, and held a life close to nature, in particular primitivist lifestyles, as an ultimate ideal.

I feel like most people today will agree with his views but that said Ted was a terrorist who hurt many people and I do NOT condone violence at all. His approach was flawed to say the least but his thinking and ideology is very radical.

He was a socially isolated genius for most of his life and couldn't conceive of a different way to put his ideas forth or head some kind of counter cultural movement, instead he killed people.

Having outcaste Nakshatras (Vishahka, Ashlesha, Shravana, Bharani) can be a very challenging experience because you feel isolated, outside the system, where belonging isn't even a possibility and feel like people always reject you/dislike you/are threatened by you and you haven't even done anything. Its easy to see how these experiences can be very demoralising and make SOME individuals prone to cruel retaliation.

Octavia Butler- Ardra Sun, Ashlesha Moon (atmakaraka), Punarvasu mercury & Rising with Jupiter in Vishaka chart ruler (and amatyakaraka)

She's known as the mother of Afrofuturism and used science fiction to explore what was wrong with society.

Parable of the Sower is the first of the two-book Earthseed/Parable series. Set in a future society that has been ravaged by climate change and economic stratification, its heroine is a young woman living in a gated community who suffers from "hyperempathy" which makes her feel the pain of anyone around her. When her home is destroyed, she leads a group to found a new community, Earthseed. It was published in 1993 but it literally sounds like a prophecy of what was to come.

Her chart is filled with Shudra & Mleccha/Outcaste nakshatras along with Punarvasu Rising which is a Vaishya nakshatra that experiences social exclusion and literally the plot itself is so rooted in all of these themes from being an outsider to being hyperempathetic to founding a new community.

Christopher Hitchens- Aswini Sun, Chitra Moon & Ketu with Venus in Revati atmakaraka and Mars in Revati amatyakaraka

Hitchens has criticized just about everybody under the sun, including war criminals like Kissinger who were and are hailed as heroes. But that said his cause was never personal per se (Sun & Moon in Vaishya naks) he was merely criticizing the establishment because of the faults he found with it.

Howard Zinn- Magha Sun, Uttaraphalguni Moon, Mars in Jyeshta atmakaraka

He was a well known anti-war activist and socialist intellectual who has written extensively on the civil rights movement. He was a bombardier during WW2 and these experiences subsequently made him anti-war. He has a combination of Shudra, Kshatriya and Vaishya nakshatras and they really reflect in his life experiences as he grew very poor to parents who were immigrants and factory workers, later went to war and then became a staunch critic of it and of the system itself. Although he's experienced all of it, he spent most of his life as a professor and public intellectual who criticised it, that was his path.

In the movie The Matrix, Neo is believed to be The One who will end the war between humans and the machines and has the ability to manipulate The Matrix. The movie itself is laden with Punarvasu themes all throughout but what I found particularly interesting is the fact that Laurence Fishburne & Carrie Ann Moss who play Morpheus & Trinity respectively and who believe Neo is The One are both Purvabhadrapada Moons. Neo is ofc played by Punarvasu Moon native Keanu Reeves.

Although others are skeptical about his abilities, Neo has the backing of two PBP native which is to say, the people at the very top of the hierarchy. Punarvasu's outcast themes manifest throughout the movie, especially since Neo was not an original part of the crew, instead a hacker they happened to find and now believe to be "The One".

A little random but the K-drama Vagabond is a very interesting anti-establishment story (its full of a lot of plot twists and I don't want to give anything away) but it stars Bae Suzy who is Hasta Sun, Mula Moon and Vishaka Stellium (including Venus in Vishaka atmakaraka and Jupiter in Vishaka amatyakaraka) and Lee Seung Gi who is Uttarashada Sun & Ardra Moon

If you watch the show (SPOILER ALERT) you'll know that they're both fighting the system from the inside and the outside, Suzy's Hasta- Vaishya nak allowing her some access into the system although she becomes increasingly disillusioned as time goes and then finally realizing the truth and being cast out (Vishaka-outcaste) Seung Gi's character was already on the outside (Ardra is Shudra caste or lower caste) and then he opts for armed struggle (Uttarashada is warrior caste).

Back to something I mentioned at the beginning of the post about how Exalted Moon natives are content to the point of decay and how debilitated moon makes a native discontent and constantly striving to improve things. I felt the need to say this in relation to outcaste nakshatras because all of the people mentioned above have been through A LOT in life, including long prison terms, abuse, discrimination, violence etc, they have endured SO much and since they're on this post, most of them are remembered for their valor and perseverance and for having dared to question the status quo, demand better and change the world.

So we know that it takes someone of extremely strong resolve and inner strength to endure the things they have and come out of it with the hope that things can still change.

It reminded me of something Sirius Black says in Prisoner of Azkaban to Harry about how he didn't go insane in Azkaban where the dementors suck out every happy thought you have. He said this:

"I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me...but it kept me sane and knowing who I am...helped me keep my powers...'

A radical or revolutionary thinks similarly. Interestingly enough Gary Oldman who played Sirius has UBP Sun, Revati Moon & Ardra Rising (Revati & Ardra are both Shudra caste naks)

Shudra which is the lowest caste and Outcaste naks are allies and although there are differences in the broader themes among these naks, there is a sense of comrade-ship as well.

Idk if I should share this anecdote at all but I had a friend when I was younger who was Ashlesha Moon she was othered at home and at school/college and felt very socially isolated. She often spoke about how she does not feel like she's a part of society at all and as a result of it she felt very disconnected from social happenings. It was always strange to me when she spoke about some current event that directly affected us as something super abstract or theoretical but in hindsight I feel like its because everything was impersonal for her and she never saw herself as a participant in society :(

That's it for now, I'll add more examples when I find them

#vedic astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #astrology #astro observations #astro notes #vedic astrology #astroblr #jyotish #ashlesha #vishaka #bharani #shravana

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teethondafloor · 1 year ago

Text

Bill Kaulitz x gn!reader ~ Taking off Bill's makeup after a show.

________.✮.________

Year : 2006

Summary --

You and Bill have been best friends for over three years now and are completely inseparable. You two are partners in crime, ready to mock and poke fun at each other any chance you get, and even more ready to comfort each other right after. Tonight, the band happens to have a gig in your hometown, where you and Bill first met. You attend the concert and text Bill after, thrilled by the band's electric performance, when Bill has other plans in mind...

Bill Kaulitz x gn!reader

Cute friends to lovers arc

Warnings --

basic fluff (touching, kissing, etc)

Note --

This took me way too long to write but IM SO EXCITED TO POST IT AA. this is my first tumblr fanfic (I'm sadly a wattpad user) so sorry if it's bad :D

________.✮.________

{{y/n}} : dude! That was awesom! You rocked!

{{BILL}} : I hope. My throat hurts lol. Where r u?

{{y/n}} : headin home. U?

{{BILL}} : WTF no! I want to c u b4 u leave!

{{y/n}} : cope. Where r u??

{{BILL}} : backstage dressing room. I can sneak you in!

{{y/n}} : I will get caught!

{{BILL}} : no! I am comin for u. Where r u?

{{y/n}} : at the exit doors :P.

{{BILL}} : STAY.

{{y/n}} : OK.

________.✮.________

Standing near the exit doors of the venue, I wait for Bill to emerge from his post-show hideaway as I look around the empty room, which just moments ago was overflowing with screaming fans. I gaze up at the dim lights above, now painting the room in a slight yellow wash which my eyes peer at weakly after standing in the dark for almost 3 hours. The air-con is blasted through the room, the cool air brushing up against my bare arms and slapping me in my face momentarily as it passes me and continues lingering around the room.

After spending some time taking in my surroundings, I snap out of my thoughts and feel the hair on my arms rise, reacting to the cool air circling the area. At the other side of the room near the stage, I hear a sudden rummaging sound coming from the corner, casted with a dark shadow. I squint my eyes a little, wondering if it's Bill that's making all the noise. From the loud clanks and banging sounds, I can tell that the person is struggling through their journey. Must be him, I smile to myself. I slide my hands into my front jean pockets, continuously glancing over to the security who are stood by the doors, surprised that they don't hear the ruckus. I look back at the noise, which now grows fainter as I hear soft footsteps tiptoeing into the concert venue.

As I hear this, I notice a tall, dark figure slowly emerging from the dark corner, the black fog lurking behind it. I smile and take my hands out of my pockets, knowing that its Bill from his giant spiky hair sprouting from his head, which is the first thing I see as he steps into the room. He takes a few light steps closer, just enough to keep himself hidden from the security guards scouring around the area. As he comes closer, his face is lit up by the soft lights above us, making the ends of his dark hair glow beneath the light, and revealing his wide smile as he sees me at last. He's so bad at sneaking around, I scoff gently.

Not wanting to be seen by the employees, Bill stays behind the stage and out of their sight. I look up and see as he nods to the ground beneath him, signalling me to walk over to him. My eyes widen and I look over to the security, trying to communicate to Bill that I can't just walk up to him without being stopped. A puzzled look washes over his face and he bites the inside of his cheek, thinking. I point at the watch that's tied to my wrist, knowing that the doors will soon close for the night and I will be kicked out of the building if we don't hurry. Bill looks down at the ground before turning back to me and nodding, determined to get me backstage with him. At once, He runs back into the black void behind him, leaving me alone in the room again. I inch forward a little, wanting to run after him, before I stop myself, trusting that he has a plan.

One of the security guards at the doors notices me when I shuffle forward and calls to me form afar. "Excuse me, we need you to leave right now." Shit, I think. I freeze up for a second as he calls to me, glancing over to the corner for any sign of Bill one last time. Agitated that he fled, I look down at the floor and back at the guard. "Yeah sorry, I thought I lost something." I lie as an excuse for my long stay. Just as I'm about to take my first step towards the exit, all of the lights in the room shut off by the click of a switch, the dark swallowing everything and everyone in the room. All of the sudden, I hear firm and heavy footsteps running towards me from the opposite side of the room. Before I can even put my other foot on the ground, the footsteps are cut off and I feel as someone grabs my hand and pulls me, running back with me latched onto them. As I feel their hand in mine, I instantly know it's Bill, his many bracelets which cover half of his forearm rubbing up against my wrist as we sprint ahead and disappear behind the stage. The security guard is left clueless when the lights shut off, and speaks to the black void, only getting the sound of his own echo in response "...did you find what you were looking for? Excuse me?..."

________.✮.________

With a tight grip on my hand, Bill leads me into a tight alleyway, between the back of the stage and the dressing room which he climbed through before. The space is shielded from any light and trashed with clutter from previous bands performing at the venue. We giggle as we stop before walking through it. "Hey" he says with a smile, huffing from laugher. I can tell he is facing me, even in the complete darkness that surrounds us. "Hey" I say, lightly breathless from the excitement. We both peer through the tight gap, trying to spot an obstacle to look out for from afar, however, the shade absorbs any object inside, turning them invisible. I hear Bill turn to me again, his breath on my forehead. "Follow me, come on!" He giggles as he lifts up our hands which are still in a warm clasp. "Go!" I whisper whilst still laughing, nudging him forward playfully. Bill starts taking long and cautious steps through the alleyway, hesitating a little when he hits any object beneath us. I follow his lead, being cautious myself. I run my hand across the wall as we walk to keep myself balanced. Halfway through the black tunnel, I hear as Bill kicks an object at his feet. Still walking, I bump into his back, causing me to flinch a little. "Dude. what is it?" I whisper to him. I hear Bill rummaging gently through the junk with his feet, clearing a path for us to walk through. He laughs "I don't know, it scared the shit out of me" We both try and hold in our laughter and continue through the gap.

As we reach the end of the alley, a streak of light peers through a crack in the wall, revealing some of the junk that is spread out on the ground around us: Magazines, cigarettes, a white laced bra....I turn my head to the back of Bill's as I speak. "What is this? your sex dungeon?" I say, smiling with sarcasm in my voice. I hear Bill scoff and smile. "If it is, it's definitely not mine." We both giggle quietly. At last, we reach the end and I step back as Bill lets go of my hand and starts messing with the crack in the wall, which to my surprise, turns out to be a secret doorway to the venue's dressing room. He pushes on the heavy object which blocks the doorway, sliding his fingers under it, trying to shuffle it to the side. Seeing him struggle, I step forward and push the object forward to help, successfully forcing it out of the way.

Before stepping into the dressing room, we take a minute to catch our breaths; I lean on the wall next to me, and look at Bill as he pants. We lock eyes and burst into quiet laughter, still a little breathless. "I need to see this stupid fucking room" I say, smiling. I step away from the wall and finally enter the dressing room. The overhead lights gleam, almost blinding me as I step in, forcing me to raise my hand and shield my eyes from them. I look around, never had been backstage of a concert venue before.

A faint smell of cheap makeup and pungent nail polish lingers in the room, the sharp chemical scent burning my nostrils as I inhale it. I admire the lit up mirrors lined up along the wall, covered in stickers left behind by other musicians however long ago. Bill's and his bandmates' belongings are spread across the room, creating a small pile of clothes and bags on a large bean bag, pushed into the corner of the room. "Where are the others?" I say, referring to his bandmates. I turn my head to look back at Bill who steps into the room with his head titled down, before looking around the room himself. "They're at some party right now." He slides his hands into his pockets.

"They went without you?" I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion, knowing Tom would not leave him out like this. "no no...I didn't want to go...I don't even know where it is, and I'm exhausted." He says as he stretches his arms out gently. "Dude!" I exclaim "We could've went there!" I punch him on the shoulder playfully, causing him to shoot his hands up to his face in defence. "You can go! I'm not going" He says with a judgemental look, teasing.

I hover around the room and view the splash of graffiti on one of the walls, seeing the signatures of hundreds of bands and musicians from the past, piled on top of each other into a barely legible scribble. "How did you even find the sex dungeon?" I'm still looking at the wall when he takes off his leather jacket and throws it at me without warning, as he says with a smile "I got bored waiting for Gustav to set up." a look of surprise bursts onto my face as I catch the jacket in my hands, which I then throw onto the pile with the rest of their junk, laughing.

"So, how do you like my dressing room?" He gestures his arms, showcasing the space and waits for my response. "You are really living the life here...I mean damn. "My eyes follow the walls, stopping to observe the space again. I raise my eyebrows. "You can't help but make it a shithole though." I say sarcastically, picking up a pair of boxer shorts I saw hanging from a chair next to me. He gasps and laughs, stepping towards me and snatching his boxers from my hands before throwing them onto the pile in the corner. I snicker when I see his red cheeks, blushing furiously from embarrassment as I infect him with my laughter. "Shut up! They're gonna hear us in here!" He whispers with a smile stretched wide across his face, still blushing. He walks over to me and gently grabs me by my shoulders, shaking me to stop me from laughing. As he holds me, I put my hand up to my mouth, covering it and muffling out the sounds of my giggles. I then push him away playfully, to which he steps back. "Stop touching everything, you're gonna break something." He whispers in a joking tone.

"Especially not your trunks." I huffed from laughter. Bill blinks slowly, visibly annoyed from my teasing. "I'm serious though, don't break anything because they'll make you pay for it." I notice how he avoids my eyes and tries to change the subject. "Oh come on...I'm not that clumsy. They should make you guys pay for trashing this room so bad." I smile. He looks down, smiling at my comment, his red cheeks growing fainter.

Bill walks over to the vanity across from us, cluttered with his makeup and endless hair products. He sits down, adjusts himself on the chair slightly and looks into the mirror, which reveals a tired face, caked in makeup and hairspray, looking back at him. I walk over to him and sit on the counter next to the mirror, kicking my feet which hang from the tall surface. I take a moment to look at him, as the vanity's warm lights glimmer in his eyes.

"The concert was unreal." I say, breaking the thin silence between us. "I'm glad you came back to play here. You're everything anyone talks about round here since you got so famous." I look over to him, rubbing my arm that is propping me up on the table. I feel a little bitter-sweet about Bill's fame. On one hand I am so proud of what him and the boys have accomplished, in like what...a year? It's insane. Though, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss just hanging out. Being able to sit for hours and do nothing together. They always have something to do now, with no time to sit in the moment. The guilt of this pools inside me. It makes me feel like a brick wall that's cutting him off on his path. My biggest fear however, is Bill not knowing how to break down this wall, quietly tolerating my burden instead. "Really? I noticed so many people from school there, I really didn't want to fuck up." He says, now looking up at me with his head resting on his palm. "I'm pretty sure I saw Leon all the way at the back, poor guy got pushed out of the crowd." We laugh.

"As much as I like traveling around and playing, this feels better. I can't explain it." He smiles as he begins to stumble over his words. "I don't know, it only feels right to perform here you know?" He looks to me.

"Nah I get you, and we're glad you did." I smile at him and my eyes are suddenly drawn to his eye makeup, now rubbing off on his cheeks after every blink. "What?" He says and quickly turns to the mirror, now seeing his smudged eyeshadow. His eyes widen in shock, seeing how messy he looks after a show. "Dude, you look insane." I burst out laughing, placing my hand over my mouth as I holler. "Shut up!" He groans, laughing with me "I'm too tired for this".

I control my laughter and wait a moment before nudging one of the chairs at the vanity with my leg, sliding it closer to Bill. I hop onto it, now directly facing him. "Come here." I say. He turns away from the mirror as I grab a dry cotton pad from a pack on his desk and drip some makeup remover onto it, watching it absorb the chemicals. He inches towards me, pushing his hair away from his face to help me, and closing his eyes slowly as the cotton pad touches his cheek, working away at his pale foundation. We sit in silence for a few seconds, enjoying each others company while I scrub at the cosmetics, washing away the excitement and fatigue of the long night that has soaked into it. "Did you really want to go to that party? We could still go if you're desperate." Bill says quietly, breaking the silence.

"Nah..." I whisper "I'd rather be here with you." when my hand grazes over his face, I feel a thin smile spread across his cheeks when he hears my words. He peers at me with his eyes half shut and backs away a little. "Look at you being all sappy..." he smiles.

"Shut up and give me your face." I say, taking a hold of his jaw and pulling his face closer to my reach. He lets out a short exhale, charmed by my boldness. I run the cotton pad across his face, quickly rubbing it over his lips playfully. He smiles again now with his teeth. "That was so on purpose..." He says with his eyes still sealed shut. "What?...no.." I say sarcastically.

After dirtying the cotton pad with his foundation, I grab a second one and move up to his shadowed eyes. "Keep your eyes closed...I need to sort all this out." I scoff, laughing as I poke fun at the mess painted on his eyes that has now somehow travelled up to his eyebrows. I take the pad and a wet wipe for good measure, massaging his eyelids. He swallows quietly "I've really missed you" he says out of nowhere. A little stunned, I continue cleaning him. "Me too." My tone suddenly shifts and you can hear a faint sadness in my voice. "I'm sorry I've been going away all the time, I would take you with us if I could..."

"Don't worry about it...I'm always back here if you need me anyway."

"Well I...don't want you only when I need you, I want you everywhere with me." I'm shocked by his sudden sentimentality, not really knowing how to respond since our usual way of showing love is by bullying each other until one caves in. "I know I know, that's not what I meant." I reassured him.

"I know, it's cool." he whispers "You know...sometimes I wish we wouldn't have to travel for so long, I've missed this." he pauses "Y/n...what if I stay?" He falls quiet, waiting for me to say something to fill in the silence. I look to him, a subtle face of worry crossing my face as I pull myself together. "Dude, stop." I say "Don't be stupid, this is...a crazy opportunity. Getting to travel around Europe and sing, that's nuts....don't let me hold you back...please."

"You're not "holding me back" y/n-"

I cut his sentence short "But what if I am? And you're just not realising it?...I don't want to be that." I blurt out.

"What?..." He opens his eyes, takes me by my wrists and holds me, preventing me from moving. His eyes glare at me. "No...don't do that. You're not in my way, do you understand?" His tone turns more agitated, worried that I'm giving myself a hard time because of his absence. A sudden silence falls between us like a transparent wall piling up and separating us, numbing me to his touch. This time, I'm not the wall. "Have you been worrying about this while I've been gone?" he looks to me hoping I'll say no, but already knowing the answer before the words leave his mouth. "Yeah...a little....a lot." I correct myself "You can't blame me though...I don't see you for weeks, sometimes even months. I know that's not your fault, but I'm allowed to be upset." I say, standing my ground.

"I know, it upsets me too." He lets go of my wrists and slides his hands down to mine, gently holding my hands with care. He smiles softly as he holds me, rubbing the top of my right hand with his thumbs, which makes both of us smile. We take time to comfort each other, acknowledging how hard the situation is for the both of us, yet we pull through. "Well you're here now." I sigh "You're stopping here for a while I heard, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we're taking a break here until we tour in the East." He says "And I'm glad I'm spending it with you." His eyes admire me as he speaks. I shift my hand a little, making him let go, and I return to his smeared eye makeup.

"So how's life without me at your hip?" He smiles as I exhale and roll my eyes, teasingly. "Better than ever." I say, with a sarcastic tone, making Bill gasp. "School's ok I guess, it's a teensy bit more bearable than last year at least." I take a short pause "...I won a writer's award two weeks ago..." I hold my breath as I wait for the buckets of Bill's compliments and praise to flood the room when he hears of my accomplishment. His eyes shoot open and his neck tilts forward in awe, his lips apart. "Are you kidding? That's amazing y/n! Why didn't you tell me??" He pushes me lightly on the shoulder.

"You expect way too much of me..." I shake my head and smile.

"I knew you would win! I told youuu..." he makes sure to rub the fact that he believed in me in my face before congratulating me "Well done, I'm really proud of you y/n..." He gazes into my eyes and gently places his hand on my knee. I observe his movements and quickly glance away, smiling. "Ok you can shut up now."

"Never. How can I when I'm being taken care of by a future author! Maybe I'll let you write my biography when you're as famous as me ;)" He teases, knowing I don't know how to handle compliments, yet he never fails to praise me anyway, just so I know. "Ok enough! Fine, I'm... proud of myself too I guess!"

"That's the spirit!" he taps my knee lightly, taking his hand away and resting it back onto the arm of his chair. I smile and shake my head, a little flustered from his admiration which, I hate to admit, I secretly love. "So how's tour so far? Are you eating well?" I ask with nurture in my voice as gratitude for his compliments. "Of course I am...you care way too much." He smiles.

"And you're right." I reply, playfully.

"I love that you care so much...even when you pretend you don't." His voice quietens.

"What does that mean?" I scrunch my eyebrows at his words.

"I don't know...you're just so...thoughtful. You always know what to do and say and-"

"Yeah right." I smile, a little overwhelemed by the flood of compliments. "Thanks though, I really do try my best."

"And that's enough for me." He whispers, his cheeks turning a faint pink. "You make me good...or feel like, at my core, I am good. I love it." without teasing or poking fun at him for once, I let him spill his emotions out onto the table where we both can see . I sit and listen, gently wiping his eyes with care. "It's so hard to leave you here, stuck in this village. It's so hard to not hear you laugh and sing and dance beside me... It's so hard not to love you for all thise things" I feel his tender fingertips brushing against my knee as he talks, slowing my pace. Before I can reply, his other hand shifts to my second knee and he holds it delicately. "Bill..." I whisper, with a little confusion but an unexpected sprinkle of excitement rushing through me. he bites his lip, pondering what to say next and trying hard not to stumble over his words. He opens his eyes and gazes directly into my mine, seeing all of me. He takes my hand. I feel butterflies nibbling on the walls of my stomach, their fluttering wings tickling me as they desperately want to flee and touch and love. In the moment, I don't know if it's wrong to feel so much love and desire for him, this ravenous craving that eats me from inside. I can only do what feels right, and so I let the butterflies feed.

He swallows gently "I want to care for you just like you do...I want to..." His hand raises to my face, holding me and caressing my cheek with his thumb in small circles. My hand laches onto his wrist gently, weak to his tender touch. The room falls silent, the only sound in the room coming from the lights above us, buzzing, humming on one note to our intimate moment. "Can I..." His voice fades out slightly and cracks from nervousness. "Can I kiss you?"

His words ring in my head, bouncing off of my ear drums and into my throat, leaving me speechless. I hold him for a while, our hands sharing each other's warmth through touch. I glance down at his lips that are slightly open, breathing in the little air between us; inhaling the glass wall that not moments ago parted us. With desire and lust, my eyes look back into his, and I nod gently. He takes a second to process this, before cupping my face in the palm of his hands and pulling me closer to him, until the wall turns to paper and our lips are inches away from each other. As I close my eyes, I feel his plush lips on mine, sharing our sweet taste. The butterflies in me settle when we collide, and the walls around us feel as though they are caving in, trapping us in each other's arms. As he holds me, I feel cared for. Safe. Warm.

He kisses me delicately and then again with more passion, before pulling away to let me breathe. As he leans back, his mouth curves into a sweet smile, his lips now stained with my light lipstick. I laugh as I notice his red tinted lips, stained with my evidence. I take his hand again, locking my pointer finger with his. "Looks like I'll have to clean you up again..."

"What a shame..." Bill whispers sarcastically, a wide smile pulling apart his rosy cheeks, now matching his lips.

________.✮.________

Tysm for readingg :)) <3 this was so much fun to write

I'm currently working on a 12 part Bill Kaulitz x fem!reader fic on wattpad and I've published the first part!

teethondafloor on wattpad

Zuźka

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mushyposts · 3 months ago

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WOAH! THE CREW???? THE CREW FROM HIT FANFICTION NO THING DEFINES A MAN LIKE LOVE??? WOAH WOAH WOAH??? Anyway yes omg its them!!! This took me so long and im so tired but look at my ANGELS!

UM! Friendly reminder that I myself am not Inuit/Indigenous! I did research + had an Indigenous person helping me w the tattoos, but if theres anything wrong/disrespectful pls do let me know and I will fix it. All the tattoos r on a seperate layer so it'll be an easy fix and one i am more then happy to do. A few of the designs changed between this and my written description, so... Oops?? Especially Morqa. I got carried away ok.... ANYWAY I have some little notes abt their designs here and there so! Kaiqa: He used to have shorter bangs around his face but they annoyed him so he tried to let them grow out but that annoyed him so he would cut them again and then try to let them grow out and now he just has perpetual baby hairs that wont get any longer. Mikla: UM. Not much to say here. Isnt he pretty tho?? Buteq: SOMEHOW ENDED UP THE MOST MAJESTIC MAN EVER. HELLO?? The two beads on the right are for his nieces and the one on the left is for his sister! Neter: One time he got super cocky abt being 7 years older then Nitya which meant he was a better fighter and so Nitya was like "yeah?? ok bet." and then punched him and broke his nose and was like "hm where are those warrior reflexes?" so now Neter has a permanently bent nose. Sorqai: He got the scar thats through his beard in the same raid that cause Nitya and Konait (Kaiqas older brother) to die. Nitya died trying to get Konait and some other kids out of the mess, and Sorqai got injured trying to get to them to help. He's mostly numb on that side of his face due to nerve damage ! Causes him to lisp a bit, especially w the chipped tooth (which he got from tripping) Natai: He wears both his own and Nitya's necklaces their parents made them, and intends to only take of Nitya's and let it go into the ocean where he was buried when the war is over. His own way of keeping Nitya involved in the war effort, something that was really important to him. Kutai: Again, no real notes here but isnt he pretttyyy..... Kovak: Honestly, very likely one of my favourite character designs I've ever made. Im kind of obsessed with him. He doesnt wear his necklace from his parents because he wasnt on good terms with them at all while they were alive. He took it off before they died, and hasnt been able to bring himself to put it back on. he intends to give it to his kid when he gets back. Mori: UM! I dont have a lot of notes here. Mori has two kids ! Hence the three tattoos under their chin, I saw an inuit creator/source say that sometimes people will add lines as they have kids and I thought that was really lovely so yes!! Again im just. I think hes so pretty. Luqait: Im so sorry king I did u dirty posting this after that one chapter. Each one of the beads he wears is dedicated to someone he knew in the tribe who died, theres more not visible on the other side of the braids. I can say for 100% certainty theres one for Kya and Nitya. Saila: Saila was actually a design i struggled a lot with, but I think I got them to a point im happy with!!! They're a good amount intense, androgynous and also have that amber flash in their eyes. The amber comes from having Fire Nation somewhere in their ancestry, something I dont think will really come up in the fic, but a detail I think is good to know! Morqa: I changed Morqa's design the most, especially his hair! But I think he's ended up being a design I am most proud of. The piercings especially!! Eventually u will run out of space (that we can see ig??) king but today is not that day godbless.

OKAY! THERE WE GO... I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THEM UM PLS BE NICE AND DONT REPOST AND IDK JUST.... I HOPE U LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I DO i know oc's in fics arent always peoples favourites but the reception of these guys has been like. Beyond mindblowing. Im so fucking excvited and happy everytime people in my comments talk about how much they love the characters i've created. Like.... The fact that people enjoy the OC's and not just for what the give to Zuko, but for what they give to each other and their own individual stories is so incredible to me. I hope u guys like this and I hope it helps u visualise them better!! : D

#mushy rambles #no thing defines a man like love fic #atla #avatar: tla #atla fanfics #avatar fic #atla fic

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ilys00ga · 11 months ago

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Exes to lovers hurt/comfort with Yoongi? Oc is going through a really hard time and one minor inconvenience sets her up to break down and yoongi finds her and they seek solace to each other because no one listens like Yoongi does. Just a moment of oc burrowing her head on his shoulder in silence and boom. Happy ending.

I GO BACK TO YOU, EVERYTIME !

pairing: yoongi x female reader.

genre: hurt/comfort, exes to lovers, post breakup, some bitter sweetness and fluff as well, yoongi is very sweet, they still love each other hahaha.

warnings: none, I think. oh some mentions of cheating. lots of crying lolol.

A/N: hello, I am SORRY for the late upload of this. I keep losing track of writing and posting 😫 but thank u sm for this <3 I hope you like it, I wasn't sure how and what to write tbh but that's what I could come up with...

I tried using "she/her" pronouns instead of "you" for some change, I hope that's fine with u!

I have one more request to make, and it'll probably be posted after a week or something:') but yeah, thanks to everyone who sent me reqs. this was so fun. remember, u can send more they are currently open! (my exams are in like one week or so lmfao)

PS. English is not my first language, so u know the drill.

the tip of yoongi's ears began to ache, and his eyes felt so heavy after several hours of sitting in front of his computer screen, wearing the same set of headphones on his head.

he rubbed his tired face with his palms and threw his head back with a loud groan. he was exhausted. this specific project he was working on consumed him the most this month.

just as he was about to resume his work, the door to his studio rang, and he huffed. the grumpy man up with slumped shoulders and a scowl ready to stare daggers at whoever decided it was just the perfect timing to interrupt his misery.

"....yoongi..." a whimper of his name made his head snap up and face the woman standing right in front of him. his eyes widened as he saw her flushed face twisted with tears running down her cheeks. visibly fresh stains of coffee covered her attire, and her hands were shaking.

swallowing, he didn't utter a word, standing there as he felt his heart pumping cold blood through his wide chest and into his entire body. it's been nearly two years since he'd last spoken to her after the messed up break-up they had.

"yoongi.." a sob shook the woman's shoulders this time as she crouched down, crying and shrinking into her own self right in front of him.

if you'd travel back two years and more ago in time, you'd see yoongi wasting no time in wrapping his arms around her body, but that sweet privilege he once had is long since gone. the she and he that once made this very beautiful thing is long since gone. she were no longer "her" and he was no longer "him". it was hard to decide whether to say "thankfully" or "unfortunately" each time yoongi recalled that gut-wrenching fact.

instead, he quickly kneeled in front of her, hesitating and contemplating before finally settling on just gently putting one of his trembling hands on her shoulder as he wasted no time in asking: "___ what's wrong? are you hurt?"

as if it was embarrassed of her commitment to silence, her head moved on its own will in a light shake of "no."

"what happened?" he repeated in a much calmer voice.

"he- he ch-cheated on m-... again- he-" her body rocked, dancing along with each sob as she struggled to speak. and when he realised that he won'tve getting a proper answer, yoongi silently–and very delicately, as though she would break if he tugged any harder on her skin–grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the studio.

after closing the door and making her sit on the couch, he asked one more time, "what happened?"

his voice never lost that soft tone, she noted, and gulped down the lump that was stuck in her throat, and after some time stuttered with a shaky voice, "I'm so sorry to bother you. i just had such a bad day, and I kind of panicked so hard and ran up here."

"what about this," he pointed at her stained clothes and frowned, "and what did you say about cheating again?"

sniffling, she sighed and rested her hair against the back of the sofa, "found out that Jaehun cheated on me multiple times, and I had a coffee accident. I didn't know where to go, so..."

yoongi stared at her silently, part of him was relieved nothing that bad had occurred to her, the other, the slightly selfish one, had the corners of its lips twitching upwards when he heard that the man he's been dreading for the past few months turned put to be a complete asshole. it was embarrassing, yes, that's why he can never admit that he's still stuck on her, that he felt as though he'd lost a chunk of himself when he knew that she was with somebody new. but he also can't complain, not after everything that happened, not after breaking it apart.

"I'm sorry you always end up with assholes." was all he said.

and a simple "by the way, it's fine, you've always been welcome here" from him was all it took to break her shell. all the self restraint she'd been pulling, all the walls she'd been shielding herself with, it all went flat to the ground, and this time her vision blurred up with hot tears, easily spilling and racing down her cheeks in a matter of seconds. finally giving up the strings she'd been clutching on for dear life.

yoongi was caught off guard, but not surprised. he pursed his lips as he extended his arm to wrap it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him and burying her face right where it belongs, his neck.

that terribly reminded him of all the sleepless nights after heavy, long days at work they spent cuddled up so close to each other. her crying as she spilled her heart's content to him, and him listening as he rubbed on her back and kissed her head.

seeing her again, one hair away from him after long months of distance and silent, guilty glances whenever they ran into each other in the building they both worked at, was the cherry on top that poisoned cake.

he tightly hugged her, whispering sweet nothings into her hair as he buried his nose into it. he used to like doing that, feeling the tickling of her strands on his nose and the scent he sipped on like a mad man.

after a long moment, her sobs thinned into hiccups, then soft sniffles, and she dried her face up with the long sleeves of her cardigan.

"feeling better?" why is his voice always so damn soft?

she nodded with a tiny hum, slowly raising her body to pull out of the hug.

when she glanced at him, oh boy, when she did glance at him, she was met with those pair of cat eyes, all wide with pure concern. so intense that she quickly averted hers as heat spread through her face and neck.

"I'm fine.." she whispered with a voice hoarse from all the crying.

"you reek of coffee." yoongi joked in an attempt to brighten the mood, smiling as he offered her a package of wet wipes.

"thanks." the woman's lips slowly pushed into a small pout, and she muttered, "I'm sorry for bothering you with my crying."

"don't worry about that, i kind of missed this anyway."

"you miss seeing me cry?" she mused.

"no, I just... it's been so long..."

neither of them said anything for a while, falling into some kind of silence. strangely, there was no awkwardness in it, just hundreds of heavily unspoken confessions and things hanging in the air, all mixed with burning yearning for one another.

"I missed you.." she whispered in a hushed tone, "I thought I would never get to talk to you again."

"i hope you're joking." he replied, "because I don't think you being serious would make it hurt any less."

"I'm sorry that we fought." she apologized.

"I'm sorry, I was an asshole too." yoongi licked his lips, a pinch of fear ached his heart all of a sudden, but he added anyway with a small voice, "do you... do you wanna meet up tomorrow? we could grab some dinner and just... talk."

"alright" she smiled.

"good. I'll call you in the morning, then. good?" yoongi felt as though his heart would jump out of his rib cage and run out of the studio from how overwhelming the whole situation was, if it weren't for her reassuring smile that made it all so much easier to handle.

"good." she replied.

"that was so easy...why didn't we do this earlier?" he covered his burning face with his hands and chuckled.

"we were just too dumb to think back then."

"yeah, we were." he nodded.

and for the first time ever since the pair cut all sorts of communication between each other, yoongi looked directly into her eyes with pure gratitude and smiled.

they ended up meeting up more often than they intended to, slowly patching up the abandoned wounds they once scarred into the body of their broken relationship.

one dinner birthed two and three more, surface-level chitchat of updates about each other's lives turned into deeper dives into the ups and downs, the wrongs and rights of everything they have shared between each other before. where everything shattered into pieces before their own eyes.

it all went slow and steady, like the first time they met a few years ago, like the very beginning of what they once had. it was scary, uncertain, and a sensitive area overall for the two, yet they were still willing to take that road again.

like a wicked witch, miscommunication casted a spell of pain, sourness, and yearning on the pair.

and now that their priorities have changed, maybe there's still a chance for them to break that spell and work it out again.

- fin..

#yoongi #bts #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #agustd #yoongi angst #hurt/comfort #bts imagines #bts fic #bts army #bts yoongi #yoongi imagine #suga fluff #suga angst #bts x reader

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torialefay · 11 months ago

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☀️ Sun in Libra ⚖️

bangchan as your boyfriend!!! (pt. 2)

(based on astrology) 🔞

✨bangchan x reader (f); fluff, angst, slight smut if you count like 4 sentences.

✨ word count: 2.3k

✨take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be! in this post, i will be talking about his sun in libra. this is a series!!! so follow up later if u want more <3

✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship :)

✨ author’s notes:

(1) some very sweet stays confirmed that channie’s birth time is in fact 20:54, yay! this means i will get to look into more aspects of his chart and post more content for anyone who wants to keep up.

★★(2) i am considering doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(3) i am trying to get better at using gender-neutral pronouns so more people can feel included in my posts. i’m really struggling since i use phrases like “my girl” a lot. anyone who has some good alternatives or tips, please message and lmk!

(4) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

✨warnings: light sexual undertones???

✨ tl/dr: chan is a people pleaser, and thus as a bf will be a YOU pleaser. happy thirsting.

Sun in Libra: Sun signs are all about personality- the face you show the world! It is also the lens through which you usually see yourself and how friends would describe you.

-Libra is a cardinal sign, meaning that people who are in this placement REALLY live by the aspects associated with that placement- in other words, chan is likely to hold very true to these values.

-Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and charm. People with a Libra Sun tend to be extremely charming and value beauty in the world. They often seek approval from others and are people pleasers. They want to be well-liked and well-known. Because of this, they will avoid conflict and have a hard time being criticized or being involved in drama of any kind. They will also often “mold” themselves to fit into any environment. This is partially because they highly value balance and peace in their lives, and can also lead to indecisiveness.

as your boyfriend:

• Chan will mold every aspect of his personality to fit with yours. Once he decides he is interested in you (because he can be one indecisive mf’er), he will literally BECOME the person you want and need (even tho you think he’s perfect as is). And he loves it too. He loves the feeling of being the only person in the world who is “perfectly made for you." Even more, he loves the fact that you know that he’s the perfect man for you. He will need constant reassurance of it too.

• He LOVES when you dress him. I’m talking (1) you are picking him out an entire wardrobe, (2) you are picking his outfits for every date you go on… so it matches with you ofc hehe, (3) if he doesn’t know what to wear, he is automatically calling you (i mean you know his closet anyways since you chose it all, so might as well choose from afar). He wouldn’t buy any clothing without sending it to you first to make sure you think it’d look good on him. He’d like for you to pick him out new styles, but he would ADORE when you stick to things he’s comfortable with like blacks and more comfortable attire. He would love how much you thirsted over him when he put on his “bad boy tumblr aesthetic” outfits. It would make him feel so much more confident going into everyday life knowing that he was dressing up for and catering to his girl only.

• He will absolutely still mildly flirt with stays (sorry y’all). But he will be mindful to not take things too far… in other words, no more calling stays Mrs. Bang lol. That one is reserved for you. He just has such a charming and flirtatious personality that he can’t help himself. BUT he always makes sure to conclude anything he says to stay with “haha I’m just joking… So thankful my beautiful girlfriend will share me with STAY.”

• He is taking you out on LOTs of dates and TONS of events. He is a super social guy, so he loves any chance he gets to take you out and make memories- especially in groups. If any of the boys have a significant other, he would love nothing more than to go on double dates with them. He would always plan for something low key, but fun with them. Anything extravagant is reserved for you only.

• Chan would introduce you to all the s/o’s of skz and would basically push you to be besties (without even realizing it). He’s so good at being social and over-committing himself that he would most likely always take up the opportunity to hang out with skz and their partners, including you by default. Cause you’re an extension of him, duh. He’d love when you’d bond and get super close with the members’ partners, and it would reassure him that you were the one for him when he saw how well and perfectly you blended into the friend group.

• He is buying you flowers every damn week. It doesn’t matter if you’re with him or on the other side of the world, he is making sure you have flowers. Or snacks. Or whatever you’re into. He is a people pleaser by nature, and who else would he want to please? He also can’t resist the smile on your face when he knows that he’s the cause.

• He likes it when you baby him. You are the ONLY person he lets take care of him. He has such a strong and happy personality with others, and many times he will not feel comfortable being vulnerable with too many people. You know how stressed he gets. He is always trying to keep up appearances after all. When he gets home from a long day of doing everything anyone could possibly ask of him, he feels the immediate comfort of knowing that you will take good care of him. He would love when he’d come home to a meal that you cooked. Or when you were watching a movie and you’d sit up with your legs in front of you, motioning for him to rest his head on your lap so you could play with his hair. He would absolutely melt if he was sitting at his desk working on something, and you’d come up behind him, towering over him with forehead kisses while you squeezed into his back. He would love the comfort he felt during foreplay (or even when he was bored) of just holding, squeezing, and sucking on your tits while you looked down at him with loving eyes. He’d go wild at the way you would straddle him and rub him through the fabric of his shorts while telling him how perfect and loved he is.

• Channie will hate any fights he has with you. He genuinely cannot deal with it. He hates feeling like he’s done something wrong, and it will take him a longggg time to talk to you about it if he feels something isn’t right or if he gets mad. Usually, you will have to initiate the conversation.

• “Channie? Can we talk?” You knocked on his door. You had gotten into an argument with him about an hour ago.

◦ A stupid argument really. He had heard you talking with a friend over the phone. “You and I both know Chris isn’t going to buy me that,” you laughed into your cell. “He’s saving up for that new car that he has to have,” you rolled your eyes and smiled. You thought it was a joke of course. It’d be ridiculous for him to buy you a $5,000 ring for no reason. YOU thought you were just being sarcastic. Maybe in retrospect, Chan didn’t feel the same.

◦ He looked at you with a face that tried to mask being upset. But you could tell. “What are you talking about?” He asked with a clenched jaw.

◦ “That ring,” you smiled and stuck your tongue out at him, obviously messing with him. He knew the ring. You’d showed him weeks ago.

◦ You saw his face go blank, like a bare canvas just waiting to see what reaction would be painted on next. He raised his eyebrows, pursed his lips, and nodded. You could see the annoyance on his face. He stood up of the couch and promptly headed to the bedroom. What was his problem?

◦ Now here you are… an hour later and radio silence.

• Chan gave no response. “Please, I want to talk about this…” you trailed off and waited for a few seconds. Still no response. “Come on Channie, I hate when we are fighting, please let’s just talk about this so we can feel better.” You heard rustling and then saw the door in front of you slowly open. There was a messy-headed Chris stood in front of you with puffy eyes and a locked-in jaw. You put your hand on his chest and nudged him ever so slightly so you could pass through the doorway and sit on the edge of his bed. He followed.

• “Okay, do you want to go first, or do you want me to go?” You asked, trying to get him to look into your eyes. He avoided them at all costs.

• “Do you really think I’m that bad of a boyfriend? You think I’m that self-absorbed to be funneling money into some fancy car, when I wouldn’t even buy you a ring you’ve been wanting for months? I would give you the world y/n, and you know that! Why would you even say something like that?” His lids and eyebrows turned downward as he spoke loudly. He was genuinely hurt.

• “No, I do not think you are a bad boyfriend! I think you are the best boyfriend in the world. Honey, I was KIDDING. I know how expensive that ring is. I was making light of how ridiculous it would be for you to just randomly buy it for me. I was joking that the reason you didn’t do it was because of the car, but it was just sarcasm. That’s literally it. How could you think I was serious?” You looked him dead in the eyes with a furrowed brow.

• “Because I AM serious y/n. I already bought you that ring. Because I love you. I was waiting until Valentine’s Day to give it to you. And you saying that just makes me feel like I’m the worst boyfriend. And now, that’s what your friends think too. I just- that just makes me really upset.” You felt your heart break. It wasn’t anger in his voice. It was disappointment. Disappointment in you. You knew how badly he struggled with self-image and with how others perceive him. It meant a lot to him. Even though he was trying to work through it, he wasn’t there yet. And you knew that.

• “Channie,” you breathed out. “I am so so sorry. I need you to know that it wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way. I think you are the perfect boyfriend.” You scooted closer to cup his face in your hands. “My friends know you are the perfect boyfriend. I talk about it all the time.” You lowered your face down to look him in the eyes. “I tell them about how much of a gentleman you are, always opening the door for me and holding my hand when we’re walking. About how beautiful you sound when I visit you at the recording studio and you’re making a sample. About how strong you are that I can feel it every time I grab onto your arms.” A tiny smile crept across his face and he looked down in embarrassment. You unconsciously mirrored his smile back. “I absolutely revel in the fact that you are the most perfect man I’ve ever known. Please don’t think that I think anything less of you. You are my perfect boy, and I’m sorry if I did anything to make you feel unloved or unappreciated. I will call her back right now just to emphasize to her that I was kidding if you think it would help you feel better.”

• Chan had a small tear in his eye when he finally looked back up at you. “No, no, you don’t need to do that… I’m sorry baby. I just- I took it the wrong way. You know I can do that from time to time,” he giggled up at you, getting embarrassed again. And he wasn’t wrong. “You are the most special person in the world to me. I never want to not live up to what you deserve… I know I have had problems with this, but I promise you that I’m working on them, and I will continue to work on them until I get better at it. You’ve already helped me so much.” Looking deeply at you, he sighed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. ��I will do better, I promise.”

• “It’s okay, it really is. We just have to work together through this. I also promise to do better at not making little jokes about you and being more respectful about our relationship. We will work on it together, okay? Deal?”

• “Deal.” He stuck out his pinky for you to intertwine with yours. In the same moment, you both bent down to kiss your hand. You’re sworn into the pinky promise now. You followed up with a swift kiss to his lips and a big hug around his neck. You stayed like that, locked in for a couple of seconds until you could feel his body relax underneath you.

• “Let’s not fight anymore. This feels way better,” you murmured into the side of his neck.

• “I can think of something else that would feel even better.” He locked his hands behind your waist and flipped you to onto your back. Maybe pinky promises could be broken, you thought. Hell, you’d break it if the fighting led to this.

• He gently kissed down your neck. “We will be okay,” he whispered softly into your ear. “I will be perfect for you, and you will be perfect for me.” Sun in Libra.

#bangchan scenarios #bangchan x female reader #bangchan x you #bangchan x reader #bangchan fluff #bang chan #chris bang #bangchan angst #bangchan imagines #bangchan stray kids #bangchan smut #bangchan #skz x reader #skz smut #skz imagines #skz fluff #skz angst #christopher bang #chris bang smut

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beddybites · 5 days ago

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Do yiu have any tips on like how to attract more attention 😭 it's been a good while and it's a huge struggle of keeping motivation and not so amazing art so it's hard to sure my characters and their stories bc one thing a can say in confidence is I am a good writer I'd like to think, people tell me I have and oddly good but cryptic way of writing that keeps people enthralled, but my biggest struggle is getting them interested in the first place 😭

hi there!! i admittedly dont really know much about the world of writing and how to gain more attention there, but i can try to give tips and see what applies & sticks!

start off short & simple and build it up over time

if you start off with something big and complicated there will be more pressure to keep things big and complicated. theres nothing wrong with short and simple and mixing it up here & there (ie with art: if you only post full pieces with extravagant rendering people will keep expecting it. mix it up a bit. i try posting a variety of sketches and doodles and more detailed things— sometimes some things do better than others and thats ok!

it is 100% okay to repost/reblog your own work

if you ever see me spamming my blog with the same posts, its so i have it back on peoples feeds and on my main profile and its easier for people to find. its also likely that some ppl missed the post, and reblogging/reposting gives them the opportunity to see it!!

something something “its cringe and egotistical” WRONG!!!!!!!!!! its completely normal for creators to repost their content and it may help a lot!!

short & sweet descriptons

when you post, avoid giant paragraphs of text, especially if you’re including art in the post. people will be distracted and will see a giant post and just scroll past it

speaking of descriptions, try using trendy words and notable names

its kinda like hashtagging. if you look at my posts you’ll typically see how i will drop people’s full names + include the word “art” or “doodle” … this is because it will more likely show up on someones feed if said person looks up the same words.

ie: googling “muichiro tokito art” -> insert my post popping up because it has “muichiro tokito art” written out in the description

i admittedly have trouble providing tips as someone who doesnt rlly understand how i got noticed to begin with haha. something something imposter syndrome or whatever they call it these days… so im not really sure if anything above helps, but this is stuff i typically try to keep in mind when i post with the intent of trying to get people to see it

more importantly—

i know this is cheesy and this is easier said than done (i have this habit too a lot of the time) but numbers does not equal ur worth or talent. i know it isnt motivating and it can be so heartbreaking): but even if ur stuff doesnt get a lot of notoriety please know it doesnt define your value . this may sound like gibberish as it is 5 am as im posting this but truly… never give up on ur work!!! i promise u someone out there loves it

im more well known for my deaging & fluff content and to this day im rlly shocked it blew up the way it did. i really made it for myself. i came up with a whole alias and didnt plan on posting it anywhere bc i was so scared ppl would hate it and harass me or nobody would gaf. but eventually i was just like Man. if this thing helps me then maybe it can help someone out there too. and it helped provide ppl some joy & wonder and whimsy & made them feel seen and truly thats all i could ever want…

its difficult and its hard but i promise u… be patient and kind to yourself. it can definitely be hard sharing things around and getting that exposure you need but there are ways for sure. some journeys are faster than others and thats ok!

again sorry if this is all gibberish its super late ): but i hope this could help in some way shape or form

#askbites #not artbites #art tips #art help #post tips #post help #social media help #advice

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kokofromwattpad · 1 year ago

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hello (●’◡’●)ﾉ Could u do the reader doing a break up prank on the dorm leaders? Twst

(SEMI)HEART ATTACK

Featuring: RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS, LEONA KINGSCHOLAR AND AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Plot: The prefect decides, for some reason or another to prank their boyfriend by breaking up with him. Whether it's for selfish gain or for a reaction, nobody knows.

Tw:fluff, a bit of crying, established relationship, romantic relationship

A/N: I am so fucking sorry for not posting, I have been struggling with my mental health for the past few weeks and interacting with my socials just was not on my priority list. I have been visiting a therapist to help sort through my problems and I hope ya'll understand.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

Riddle layed in the prefect's squeaky bed at Ramshackle dorm. The housewarden was snuggled up and had his arms wrapped around the prefect's waist. The prefect themself rested their head right above Riddle's, giving the boy little kisses every now and then.

The prefect had their old, battered airpods plugged in their ears as they watched magicam videos. As they scrolled, they came across one of those cringy couple accounts where they constantly pulled pranks on one another for views.

In this specific video, it showed a woman pretending to break up with her boyfriend. The boyfriend's reaction was kind of desperate. He begged her not to break up with her but then said that he would let her leave if she really wanted to break up with him.

This video got the cogs in prefect's brain turning. What would Riddle's reaction be? Would he scream angrily and smash all of their belongings? Would he start crying and begging for them not to break up with him? Would he go stoic and completely cut them out of his life? Honestly, the prefect was kinda worried.

But for the sake of their curiosity, the prefect plucked up the courage to gently tap Riddle on his back, silently asking him to look at them. Riddle turned his head up to see their eyes. And by the seven, was he adorable. If the prefect didn't previously know him as the cold-hearted queen of heartslabyul, they would have thought that he was just an innocent boy with a lot of love in his heart.

"Yes darling?" Riddle gently asked with a slight glimmer-y look in his eyes.

"Can I talk to you about something?" The prefect nervously asked, trying to keep their facade up.

"Anthing you want"

"I think we should take a break from each other"

The silence in the room was almost deafening. Riddle's eyes widened with shock. What the hell did they mean by that? Did they want to break up with him? Why? Was he unconsciously going back to his old, hot-tempered self? Is that why they want to leave him?

Riddle looked down from their (perhaps) lover. He was trying so hard not to start tearing up. After the prefect heard the first sob escape his trembling lips, they scooped him up tighter in their arms and started apologizing profusely.

In between sobs and soothing whispers, a mumbly "You're not breaking up with me?"

The prefect softly kissed Riddle's lips and said with no uncertainty,

"Never."

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

It was one of those warm spring days, where all you want to do is curl up and forget about all of your problems. And it seemed like Leona was taking every opportunity to do just that.

Professor Crewel had asked the prefect to wake up and bring back Leona to continue the rest of his classes. The moment the beastman's name left the professor's lips, the prefect knew that the prince was going to be a pain in the ass to deal with.(affectionate)

So off the prefect went, to whisk their housewarden boyfriend back to class so that he could actually pass the year.

The prefect went to their and Leona's usual napping place in the greenhouse first to see if he was there. Lo and behold, there was the prince, conked out and snoring like a middle aged man.

"Leona! Darling! Love of my life! Snookums! Sweetheart lolipop" yelled the prefect, trying to gain the prince's attention.

Leona just grumbled angrily, flicking his tail and turned to his side to try and block out their lover's loud voice.

The prefect got close to Leona's sleeping face and leanded, "Leona, I think we should take a break from each other."

The prince snapped his head up at his lover's words. What the hell did they mean take a break? As in break up? Hell no! Absolutely not! You're his lover! His forever! His break from reality! You can't just leave him!

Leona sat up from his laying position and stared at the prefect right into their eyes. Dammit they have pretty eyes.

"That's not gonna happen. Nuh uh." Leona spat out as he grabbed onto the prefect's wrist.

"If you truley want to stay with me, get up and follow me."

Immediately, Leona jumped onto his feet and wrapped one of his arms around his lover's shoulder.

Before Leona knew it, he was back in class with an odd, dazed look on his face.

You almost broke up with him for not going to class.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO:

The prefect had a test coming up that would depend if they would pass or fail the subject therefore depending if they would have to redo a year or not.

So obviously, the most logical solution was to call up their very nice, adorable, kind, smart and caring boyfriend.

"No."

What did he mean no?

Azul smirks at his lover's surprised face. Aren't they so adorable when they're stunned? Oh, he could just pinch your cheeks!

A 'huh' slipped out of the prefect's lips. They were utterly surprised. They honestly thought that Azul would help them! I mean! This test was going to determine if they had to redo a year! If they fail this, Azul would have already graduated by the time of their third year anniversary.

Azul, the smug bastard, was smirking wickedly at his lover's spiral. He was going to strike a deal with them. If he helps them study, they will repay him by doing a small performance in the mostro lounge as entertainment for his guests.

However, this was not the first time Azul tried to strike this deal with his lover. Oh no! He's done this over six times already in the past. So, the prefect already assumed that the next words coming out of Azul's mouth would be his deal.

And so, before the merman could get a word out, the prefect exclaimed in false anger, "That's it! We're over!"

And with that, they stormed out of Azul's office with a little pep in their step.

Azul was absolutely stunned from their action. Is he single now? No, no.... that can't be! How could his lovely prefect breakup with him?!

Azul jumped from his armchair and rushed after his (ex) lover. He ran and ran until he saw the back of the prefects head.

"Sweetheart, please, it was just a joke. I-I never meant to hurt you. Please don't breakup with me." Azul cried out.

It sounded as if he was about to cry. Tears already brimming the bottom of his eyelid.

The prefect smiled gently and turned to cup Azul's cheeks into their hands.

"Help me study for this test and I'll take you back."

Azul was shocked to say the least, but he chuckled and agreed to his lover's words.

#twisted wonderland #twst #kokowrites #kokoscenarios #kokofluff #riddle #riddle rosehearts #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul #azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader

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multifandomfanfic · 1 year ago

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you should totally do a messi x daughter fanfic. One where she is in a relationship with Kylian Mbappe’s brother, Ethan Mbappe.

I love you writing btw. it’s awesome. Keep the good work!

A/N: So about this request--seeing as Ethan Mbappe is underage, I'm uncomfortable writing something for him. I'll do the fic with Kylian Mbappe instead, but I'm sorry, I won't do Ethan seeing as he's 16 and barely even legal in France.

I also combined it with this request: "will u make a fan fiction about Messi x daughter in which the daughter is an actress and they all go to a, premiere or an award show where she is nominated (and she wins), with her. Also an after party part will be good!"

Face claim for most photos: Haley Lu Richardson

Messi x daughter!actress!reader (also Mbappe x reader)

yourusername

liked by leomessi, sydney_sweeney, dannyramirez, and 3,328,498 others

yourusername: tiempo familiar, pt. 1

monicabarbaro: this movie better be good if you dyed your hair for it 😭

yourusername: i promise its worth the wait!! chrishemsworth: I can attest to that!

leomessi: Te ves hermosa, cariño! (translated from Spanish: "You look beautiful, sweetie!")

comment liked by antonelaroccuzzo and yourusername yourusername: gracias papa🥺 antonelaroccuzzo: 💕💕💕

neymarjr: obrigado por vir ao jogo, y/n, foi bom ver você de novo! (translated from Portuguese: "thanks for coming to the match, y/n, it was good to see you again!")

yourusername: you too! ❤️ user307: 👀

fanaccount1: how is she so pretty as a blonde and brunette???? she's so lucky

user203: she's literally anto roccuzzo's daughter be fr

user892: my favorite nepo baby

yourusername added to their story

celebritygossip

liked by pierregasly, ethanmbappe, and 837,238 others

celebritygossip: The first photo was posted on @yourusername;s story yesterday morning. The second one was posted by @k.mbappe just hours afterwards. Coincidence? We think not.

user487: i'm not sold at all but i'm glad it's not (possibly) neymar. i was not for the whole age-gap, dad's best friend thing.

fanaccount2: Totally agree. user008: me three, but we really shouldn't have any opinions on who y/n dates. we don't know her. fanaccount3: no one asked you to act all high and mighty.

user918: Y/N could have any man in the world and she choses someone who looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle.

fanaccount4: She said we'll find out eventually, maybe this is it??

user773: i don't think she meant some random gossip account 'connecting the dots.' we still have to wait

yourusername

liked by leomessi, k.mbappe, glenpowell, and 2,385,019 others

yourusername: "Figures and Strangers" has officially ended production. I would like to thank everyone who I've worked with on this project; you have made every moment of this past year special, and I will remember our time together for the rest of my life.

"Figures and Strangers" is about family, love, and perseverance in the midst of hard times. While I may not have had hard times, the other themes of this movie pertained to my life when I auditioned:

Without my family's unwavering support and direction, I would not be where I am today; seriously, without my father, I wouldn't have been tipped off about Spielberg shooting his first film in Paris, and I would not be typing this today.

A year ago, I had gone on one date with the man I now call my love. Since that day, he has been with me through thick and thin: from nights spent crying over hard-to-memorize lines, to entire weeks when I was hardly home. He saw me through my highs in lows, through enjoying life then doubting every choice I've ever made. Honestly, I believe he's more love and understanding than man. I would have never known the man my father introduced me to would be such a blessing, but I am so glad to call him mine.

And, finally, perseverance: when I heard about this movie, I was still struggling with the notion that all I would ever be was my dad's child. I love my dad with all my heart and all my soul, but seeing myself called "Lionel Messi's daughter" instead of "Y/N Messi" in headlines about my own accomplishments damaged my self-esteem (not to mention all the "nepo baby" comments--yes, I read all of those). Yet, all of this motivated me to work even harder and persevere, as my character in "Figures and Strangers" does. I am glad to say that I am happy with where I stand right now, and I have made myself proud.

Anyways, to wrap this up, I'll quote the ever so wise Winnie the Pooh by saying how lucky I am having something that makes saying goodbye so hard. I am eternally grateful for everything that has happened in the past year because of "Figures and Strangers," and how it has transformed me as a person.

Thank you all again, and I'll see you in the movies.

~ Y/N Messi

leomessi: También nos has hecho sentir orgullosas, Y/N. (translated from Spanish: "You have also made us proud, Y/N.")

yourusername: muchas gracias, papá. te amo más de lo que sabes. ("thank you very much, dad. i love you more than you know.") comment liked by leomessi and antonellaroccuzzo

zoeisabellakravitz: Best Actress nom when

evanpetes: can't wait to see it!

psg: All of us are so happy for you!

comment liked by yourusername, k.mbappe, neymarjr, and leomessi

masonmount: seriously, y/n, congrats on everything. you deserve all the awards.

yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️ fanaccount5: guys???

k.mbappe

liked by celebritygossip, yourusername, chloegmoretz, and 3,389,291 others

k.mbappe: 🖤🤍

tagged: yourusername

chrishemsworth: Had a fun premiere with you both! Here's to more success yet to come!

comment liked by anyataylorjoy, jayrellis, and k.mbappe yourusername: you too!!

antonelaroccuzzo: You look stunning, sweetie 💕

yourusername: thank you mom 🥺🥺

fanaccount6: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

user940: how did we NOT see this coming it makes so much sense yourusername: i told you you'd find out eventually 😉

fanaccount7: they're so perfect omg????

user038: my wife and husband

leomessi

liked by yourusername, cmpulisic, leonardodicaprio, and 7,289,064 others

leomessi: (translated from Spanish) I couldn't be more proud of my daughter tonight. I remember the little plays you used to put on with your cousins and brothers, and today I watched you walk across the Oscars' stage to accept the Best Actress award. All of your hard work and dedication has paid off, and you've truly made a name for yourself. Congratulations on everything you've done and will accomplish in the future. I love you very much.

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: i'm going to cry dad! i love you too!

antonelaroccuzzo: We're both thrilled for you, Y/N. You've exceeded our expectations and turned into an incredible young woman.

yourusername: thanks mom!

k.mbappe: proud to call you mine💕

comment liked by yourusername leomessi: Take care of her!

yourusername

liked by k.mbappe, keleighteller, antonelaroccuzzo, and 3,510,389 others

yourusername: can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you

tagged: k.mbappe

k.mbappe: mon amour ❤️

leomessi: The best daughter and son-in-law a man could ask for.

comments on this post have been limited

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deesseshesca · 3 months ago

Text

PAC :What are they gagging about u, again ?

Again… A fucking again. Nothing new, nothing changed.

Good morning, pretty souls, today we are diving into the same mess people keep their mouth running regarding you. What’s the remix this time ? What have you done to upset the haters ? Like WTF do they want now ?

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must reblog, like and comment.

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION

Rules and Disclaimer

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else.

TW: PANIC ATTACK

Pile 1

Check in : y'all come from a rich abusive household. You are about to run away. Or some of y’all might actually just move.

What’s the gag ?

King pentacles

People are yapping about you, are your classmates or close friends . Y’all come from an abundant family heritage and are living the dream some will never get to even grasp. Let’s not forget your amazing composure. You can get anything you want whenever you want. Probably walking around with an Amex card. Book a ticket overseas at least 4x a year. Whole education in private school even high profile nanny. If you are black, u hear often … « you talk white … ». I fucking hate that statement because what is that supposed to mean 😑… LOSER . They think u must have a very traditional way of thinking. Especially if u are white, they think u lean more towards far right ideologies. And the fact that u call your parents « papa » or « mother » is not helping your case.

What’s actually gagging ?

8 swords

Y’all are going through it with your family. I don’t have any vision regarding what’s going on behind closed doors. But I see you pulling a big bright smile after closing the front door of your house. I see y’all acting literally like a robot. The second that your parents ask for something. You do it. No question or critical thinking involved. Y’all are literally suffocating in your household. This time no amount of money, clothes or first class trip is cutting it.

Bonus💌333, The universe is advising you not to run way. They know you are an individual with good values and you hate acting out of character. But they are giving you the green light to act like a spoiled child and throw a fit. So you can get your own apartment and enjoy a semi independent lifestyle before blowing the big gun. They will hate to see struggle in the real world when u already been through hell in your own home.

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment.

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

PILE 2

Check in : You guys recently got a face piercing. People around u wondered if u are a sex worker. You come from a small town. Y’all have the perfect hourglass figure or peach. Anyway, your ass is fat.

What’s the gag ?

Judgment (reverse)

They feel like too many bad things happen to you. Everyone in town is in your business. Which is not surprising. Like nobody actually minds their motherfucking business ( I’m sorry … I hate when people are in people's business, especially mine . Since I’m a toddler my fav sport is to mind the thinking that pay me … is so annoying when I run around individuals that fucking don’t This is why I never over read in y’all energy even in a collective setting. Like c’mon). I’m sorry pile 2, y’all lost u’re high school sweetheart. Y'all got married but it all scrambles down. They feel like you need Jesus. They think u are bitter, old and alcoholic women. You need to give your heart to God and turn your life around.

What’s actually gagging ?

Queen swords (reverse)

They are partially right (and i oop-). Nah, I have to stay serious. This is a serious matter. You lost the only good thing in your life. I would be turning bitter myself 2. In that nasty old town, where people never let you be in peace. First because of your mom's reputation then because of your beauty. Out here making fun of u because u gain weight. Bitch people are at the gym killing themself to have your curves. Some are dying on the bed of doctor Miami… for what ? I sense that it is constantly like that. Since you’ve been young they made smart comments about you. When they realize, u only get prettier from there… game over. Now they are calling you fast. Then calling you old, they wish. Y’all are between 25-27 like… ok, yeah ok, pipe down bitch (meme reference). You are pondering on doing a 360 of your life right now. You spend all this time trying to please people around you and acting according to people's expectations. Now you want to live in a rather carefree lifestyle. Moving to the big city, where nobody cares about you and nobody deem to care. You might want to be a stripper. Not because you are missing funds or don’t have an education. You just want to go wild for a bit. Seeing if you still got it.

Bonus💌777, When you are ready to share your story that's when great success is going to find you. You might documente your grief on social media or give guideline for other to heal. Some may write a book to help individual going through the trials and tribulations of loosing their ultimate soulmate. Y'all other going to share all the secret tip and tricks of being a stripper.

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment.

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

PILE 3

What’s the gag?

King cups (reverse)

Y’all must be athletes. The people gagging are your teammates. They finally saw you crack. Some were even questioned if you were a human being. Because you are always put on a straight face no matter what. I sense that you had a panic attack in front of them. That was the only time you showed emotion and it was this intense.

What's actually the gaging ?

Queen swords

You’ve been carrying a deep sadness since childhood. You guys are extremely disciplined and private. Y’all also give amazing advice. They think you lost it but you actually lost your mind Because you never really had your emotions under control. You barely know how to cope. The only time that this insanity seems to leave you is when you are practicing your sport. You are actually pouring all you have to the only thing that gives you peace. They will never know that.

FLASH SALE

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only

GIVEAWAY

There’s one spot left for a free full audio reading

To participate: You must re-blog, like and comment.

If you want to choose the subject for the next reading make sure to vote on the poll at the end of the post.

#tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot spread #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pac reading #pac #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a card #pick one #pick a card reading #tarot #free tarot readings #tarot blog

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tossball-stick · 2 months ago

Note

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang.

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive.

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child.

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family.

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man.

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him.

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you.

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe.

he can shape up and be good, he just never does.

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack.

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal.

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences.

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)."

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

#john marston #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #rdr1 #red dead redemption analysis #rdr2 analysis #red string on the corkboard #if anything ive written is insensitive towards arospec people lmk and ill fix it ^-^

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dottieisdotting · 4 months ago

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hii me again i was wondering if u could do a smut for chishiya amd reader where they have a slight age gap (3 years) and reader is in med school and is friends with kuina and kuina introduces chishiya to reader which he helps her w her sch work and ykyk and their friendship escalates to something more i hope u get the idea thank youu

Work colleagues - Chishiya Shuntaro

requested?: yes

pairing(s):Chishiya Shuntaro x afab!reader

Genre:Smut (MDNI)

warning(s):colleagues to lovers age-gap (3 years), office fucking, praise, begging (only slightly) ,sort of sloppy eating out and head, Possessive Chishiya, Chishiya calls reader sweetheart a couple times, cream pie, no protection(wrap before you tap), oral (m&f) breast play, body worship. a lot of kissing and hand holding, TALKING YOU THROUGH IT (sort of)

Summary: Kuina introduces you to Chishiya who often helps you with course work

word count: 2783

a/n: another request! I'm so sorry i've had terrible writers block and i am trying to write some of my own things (look out for that) but keep requesting and i'll try to write them for you!!i. hope you all enjoy. You are welcome to like,reblog and comment on my posts too xoxo. Hope you all have a good morning,day,evening or night Mwah!

You were a nurse in training at med school and you often struggled with your course work so Kuina, your best friend, offered to introduce you to one of her friends from the borderlands. Chishiya Shuntaro is often known as the black cat around the wards. Of course you knew who he was, everyone knew who he was.

You often saw him when he was doing his rounds as he passed the break room where you constantly were doing your work and stressing as you didn't understand.

Kuina had dragged you out on your rest day to meet Chishiya for a day out. To much of your dismay you were sitting with Kuina across from Chishiya as he took a sip of his coffee.

“So you're going to help me with my work?” You ask him and he hums and nods. Kuina claps her hands a little and smiles brightly. She grabs your arm and squeezes carefully. She winks subtly at you and you nudge her telling her to lay off with the whole colleagues to lovers thing. She‘d taken up reading since she’d gotten back from the borderlands and it was driving you up the walls, mad with all the little tropes but you'd be lying if you said that they didn't intrigue you.

You sat and talked a little bit longer,Chishiya bidding you a farewell when you checked the time and realised you had a 12 hour shift the next day so you slightly panicked as he sat and smirked as you drink the rest of your drink and bid very quick farewells as you left the cafe.

You get to your apartment,stressed but also relieved? You had someone to help you with your coursework but Chishiya, was he the right person to help you, you were contemplating yourself and it was difficult

Well , another work day rolls around and yet again you are stuck with coursework, luckily Chishiya was here to help this time and you were slowly understanding it for once and it amazed you somehow. You had finished your coursework in time and thanked Chishiya tremendously, he just brushed it off and went back on to his rounds leaving you all alone in the staff break zone.

He had a certain effect on you, you couldn't point out what it was and it was quite frankly pissing you off so you seeked help from your best friend Kuina. You called her and explained the best you could on your 10 minutes left on your break and she didn't help one bit, you could have strangled her if she was there right now with you.

You sit and grovel until it was rounds time, you spend about an hour checking up on all your patients and seeing how they were doing. You felt good afterwards which was great until someone bumped into you,almost spilling coffee on your scrubs you scowl and look at who it was. Oh ! fantastic it was Chishiya, you were annoying,he had ruined your good mood.

“Could you watch where you are going next time! God, everyone gets in my way.” you grumbled to mainly yourself but Chishiya heard it and his eyes followed you as you walked away. He wanted to go to you and apologise but who was he kidding, his ego was far too high for that so he let you grovel by yourself down the corridor.

Finally it was time to leave your shift. It was over.it was possibly one of the most pisstaking days in your very short career so far. On one hand you had finished your coursework,thanks to Chishiya but you also could have killed him for dampening your day by nearly spilling shit hospital coffee on you.

But time went on and you grew closer to him with a lot of reassurance from Kuina that is. A lot of shitty coffee breaks and study sessions you saw a side of him no one other than his patients saw, his caring side and it shocked you at first that he was able to feel like that but now you subtly make jokes out of it and he 100% knows but ignores your digs.

Chishiya often got pissed off when he had to explain over and over to the point where it had become a thing that if he had to explain more than 3 times he wouldn't help the rest of the session and that stressed you out to listen and understand more clearly.

Now that had only happened a couple of times, but you got there eventually. So now you were in Chishiya’s office waiting for him to finish on the phone because he promised to get you your lunch for finishing your work early. You were buzzing because you were practically getting free food.

”C’mon, hurry. I'm hungry y’know. Chishiyaaa” you whine in a singsong voice as you extend the last syllable of his name, he looks up at you,annoyed, his feline-like eyes slanted. He presses his finger to his lips,signalling to you to shut up. The call he was on was very important and so you apologised.

Soon after he finishes the call he stands up and starts walking out of the office,calling your name for you to follow him ”hurry up if you want food, brat” he uttered sharply as your eyes slightly widened and you quickly followed, ushering a quick ”sorry, coming” as you rush out of his office to him.

After your food and brief talk with Chishiya, he could be real boring at times, you went back to your ward and back to your patients and dotted around till the end of your shift, which you wished upon to come quicker every 30 minutes. The clock hands showed 11 o’clock, which meant clock out time and you were buzzing but also shattered. ”wow, finally home time” you mumble to yourself before bumping into, once again a busy Chishiya.

You swore to the gods above this man could never rest, not even after the borderlands could this man rest and you felt awfully sorry with the weight he had to carry on his shoulders being a paediatric cardiovascular surgeon, it was tough, you certainly couldn't handle the stress, you were crumbling being a geriatric nurse and working with sick elderly patients on the ward.

”oh, I'm sorry Chishiya, I didn't mean to bump into you” you apologise and for once he didn't mutter under his breath and rush off he stood and talked to you, that was a little shock, horror, gasp moment for you. Maybe he is warming up to me you thought but quickly shrugged it off when he opened his mouth to say ”It's okay, my fault.”

you swore you could have nearly choked on your saliva when he said it was his fault, the Chishiya who is also innocent and does nothing wrong because he's too pure, too pure your arse but you took it as a huge win and getting closer to him was a good thing. A thing that Kuina wanted to happen,right? Well you damn hope it was what she wanted ‘cause it was happening if she liked it or not.

Anyways you chat for a little while before you clock out and head home

Another working day rolls around and it's a slow one. You hated slow days so you track down Chishiya and go to his office, thank goodness he was on his lunch break so you could annoy him as he answered emails on his computer. You sat on the chair on the other side of his desk and rested your head on it. He would peak at you from time to time and you would make “subtle” cat jokes here and there. You got bored pretty easily and Chishiya seemed quite restless.

”---, c’mere” he speaks in an authoritative tone as you stand up and walk around his desk ”i'm tired, sit here and write these emails for me, i'll tell you what to write, don't worry” Chishiya practically declared. You look around and expect him to move from his seat so you could sit but he grabbed your waist and pulled you down onto his lap. Of course you gasped, you didn't expect it and it was all so sudden from Chishiya. You'd never expect him to randomly do things to fluster you so damn quickly.

You sit on his lap, back straight as he speaks and you copy down what to write without trying not to get distracted by the growing fire in your lower belly called arousal or Chishiya’s hands and semi-hard cock against your plump arse. As you type, you move your hips, getting comfortable and in the headspace of concentration but as you move you hear Chishiya’s little mewls to stop moving as you felt his cock harden more which brought you right out of your headspace and your knickers to become sticky and wet with your uncontrollable arousal and attraction to Chishiya Shuntaro.

“Please” you slightly beg, whining. He doesn't say anything but his hands tighten their grip. He tsks and whispers ”Keep that up sweetheart and I'll leave you high and dry. Now can you get on your knees for me?” he asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, you didn't even know chishiya was capable of that tone but you got on your knees anyways, waiting on further instructions

”Can you suck my cock, sweetie?” you gulp slightly but nod, hands going to his hospital scrubs and pulling down his pants revealing he boxers with a hard cock confined. You look up to him with puppy eyes as you pull down his boxers, his cock hard and red tip dripping with pre-cum. Your mouth was almost salivating at how good it looked.

Chishiya gulped and guided your head to his cock, your mouth already open and ready for him. He taps the leaking tip on your plump bottom lip before you take him down your throat slowly and carefully. Your eyes flutter closed as they water slightly. You gag and Chishiya groaned, feeling your throat contract around his cock,fighting the urge just to buck his hips and fuck your little, pretty mouth.

Soon enough you start to bob your head, up and down his cock, saliva everywhere. You lick the vein running along the underside of it before pressing a soft kiss to his tip,making him hiss and buck his hips.

Your hand wraps around him as you focus on the tip, kissing, sucking and licking it,bringing him closer and closer to euphoria. He wasn't quiet either, you liked it too,encouraging him to be as loud as possible as you once again deepthroated him without a warning and he whimpers as his hands go to your head,his eyes screwed shut as you felt his hips buck and roll into your throat, his cum goes down your throat in thick ropes and you make sure to suck him till he was over and through with his orgasm.

You pull off his cock with an audible pop as you stand up, smiling as you see Chishiya spent, chest heaving and sweat on his forehead, you lean forwards and kiss him softly, before pulling away. He regains his breath properly and stands up, pushing you to the chair to rid you of your scrubs. He sees your pretty lacy white panties with a bow and it has no mercy showing your obvious arousal.

Chishiya leans forward and kisses your clothed cunt once before he takes off your panties, lifting your legs over the arms rests of his chair, leaving your pussy bare and leaking, your hole clenching around nothing. Chishiya looks at you like you were an angel ”so pretty, hm? For me to taste” you whine in response as he dove right in, licking a fat stripe from your sopping hole to your clit, sucking it for good measure before repeating his actions.

You moan out and look down at him, god he looked so good between your thighs, eating you like a starved man. His fingers spread you open further so he had more access to your little bundle of nerves whilst his other hand travels to your entrance teasing slightly before entering 2 fingers and curling them. You kick your legs out, mindful of chishiya as you babble out a whole load of praise and thank yous to him.

”So good, it tastes so sweet and all for me. Never let anyone else taste your perfect little cunt,sweetheart.” you were in heaven right there, the praise and possessive tone made you clench around his digits, he laughed and it sounds muffled but it sends shock waves through your body as you feel the cold in your lower stomach start to form and tighten with every word,suck and lick.

Chishiya removes his finders and brings them up to your boob, squishing your left one, leaving your arousal around your perky nipple before doing the same to your right one. The coil tightens faster and faster. Your eyes close and back arched, toes curled and with a cry of Chishiya’s name you came. Your body shakes and he continues to eat you out as you ride out your orgasm on his tongue.

He pulls away slowly, kissing your cunt once more. He picks you up from the chair and presses you against the table, leaving over to pepper kisses along your neck and shoulder. You sigh and feel the post orgasm haze already but you wanted more, you wanted Chishiya’s cock inside you, to complete you and that's what he did

He lined his tip up with your entrance and pushed into your sopping heat, groaning and hips already faltering as he pushed into the hilt. You felt full and overwhelmed. You open your mouth to say something but he rolls his hips, slowly but deeply hitting all the correct places to make you feel absolute pleasure. You moan instead as he leans forward, hands on your tits, nipples between his index fingers and thumbs as he rolls them.

You were feeling the utmost pleasure that moment. You move back onto Chishiya as he bucks forward. Your hand comes down to your clit and you rub 8 figures,making you clench ”oh sweetie, you feel so good to me,so wet,tight, heavenly. Could stay buried in your cunt and I'd die a happy man, Sweetheart” you smile bashfully, enjoying the praise from the normally quiet man.

Chishiya feels his high coming along so he moves your hand and replaces it with one of his own, rubbing your clit for extra pleasure, you continuously clench around him, your slick sourting around his cock, the scene was erotic as anything.

You were bent over his desk facing the door, emails abandoned as Chishiya squeezed your breasts and played with your nipples. Slow and deep thrusts reaching unimaginable places inside of you as his hand stays on your clit. Your hair was a mess, noises bouncing off the office walls and you both gave zero fucks as you were living your life getting the best sex from your friend ever.

”m’close, Shiya” you mewl and slump against the desk. Chishiya leans over you and holds your hand tightly,interlocking your hands together as his thrusts get faster but still just as deep. You couldn't keep it together much longer as you came around his cock, no warning or anything. The orgasm was long lasting travelling from the tips of your toes to your head. Your orgasm triggered Chishiya’s spiralling out of control. The whimpers and whines coming from his and your mouth were both pornographic. ”That's it, good girl sweetheart come for me,let me feel your cunt suffocate my cock. So good for me aren't you, making me feel all nice and good whilst i stuff you full”

His cum sits deep inside of you as your cunt milks him dry. ”Keep that nice and deep inside of you, sweetheart, yeah. Don't let any spill or i'll give you another to keep deep for me” you mumble and nod at his command. You felt amazing and were glowing. The sunset brings a golden haze into Chishiya’s office as he pulls out and brings you to a couch to clean you with tissues and kisses. He helps you dress and look presentable even though people would have heard your little mishap.

You couldn't care though, legs like jelly and breathing slightly uneven but a Chishiya by your side was all you needed as you clocked out with him that night, happy as anything.

#alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya smut #aib

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hyunpic · 1 year ago

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HAIIIIII HAIIIII HAIIIII II III II i hit a big milestone on skz comeback day so i decided to do a lil thank u post or whatever idk. ive never done one of these in my tumblr career . As u can see ….. and the quality of the banner is trash just like where hyunjin almost fell. Can u just think of it as 5 minutes of crafts and like this is sooo five years old child making a Mother’s Day card to her mom. It’s full of love anyway 😻 i was writing this post while taking hits of my vanilla vape and it ran out of nicotine juice so im struggling and can’t focuse anymore 👍 pls forgive me this is gonna be very messy 😄

anyway these are no in particular order and sorry if i forgot someone 😔😔😔😔 this is what makes me so nervy that i have never made a post like this before like 😔 i don’t want to forget anyoneeeeeee also tumblr wouldn’t let me add more so blame them and not me DUMBLR 😡🍅🍅🍅🍅 thank u so much for sticking around and u are all so very dear to me in all of your unique ways:

@woozis @woodziecup @christakisbang @y-eontan @hyuncheols @ughbehavior @londonsboy @minchanz @minhosblr @morgoth @leenope @theboytatu @shnryjn @yang-innie @snug-gyu @jinniebit @ttathinker @digitalgirls @agibbangs @haenglixie @bangzchan @megaversed @yangjeongin @hyunchanz @seungminhos @chanstopher @chanrizard @djxiao @possession1981 @yunwooz @hyunjinz @exocean @onedoors @seungmoes @geniaparadox @kimtaegis @hyunjinz @cowboybin @farascha @wooobinz @taedongz

@strayklds: em i love to see u in my notifications and in my dms and perceiving u content and and and and etc. seeing u here always feels like the biggest warmest and welcoming hug. you are simply just like jisung - the best friend shaped guy and ilu so much for that 💖

@hanarchy: WAAAAAAA my chris.. this is so different cause we have actually met. thank y for always taking care of me… u are so so dear to me. like i will never forget the feeling of breaking down in tears when we got to lolla area and i realized i will see skz and u made sure i was okay. it will be my core memory till im in my death bed. i love u and your company and that we can bitch to each other about stuff and u just get me and i get u… i hope we can keep holding hands and making many more memories together 💘

@wantbytaemin: MY FUCKING MAIN SLAYEEEEEER it’s no joke that u stan taemin and u are a queen yourself as well… like greatness recognizes greatness. a piece of my heart is still in that weird little airbnb i shared with you in paris and whenever im sad i wish i could be there with you. my forever destined roommate or whatever idek. but i love u with all of my heart. The way we clicked right away when we met is crazy to me like i felt like i had known u forever. U are just soooOoooo amazing words can’t even describe 💘 ilyilymwahhhh

@izayaki MYYYYYY CARLYBEANNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNN I FUCKING LOVE U U ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! you could only treat me as your local sandman if u wished but i wouldn’t care like i love u so much!!!! i know i can always count u to be so crazy with me when it comes to hyunjin. also i feel like it’s worth mentioning that u make me feel so comfortable around u. i feel like i can finally be like myself whenever i talk with you :(( like u accept me just how i am and it means so much to me… idk i just feel like i will love u unconditionally and 4ever or whatever katy perry said in that one hit song of hers.

@sunmisbf we will one day smoke together. like idec how many years it will take. we will sit at that porch when we are 80 years old grandmas and we will share a joint and talk about our good old kpop days. u are a delight here and i would feel so empty if i didn’t follow u.

@dowoonyoon: my favoritest penpal.. the way u are engraved in my heart forever. u are just as lovely as taylor swift love songs, i hope u know that. im so happy to scream about anything and whatever with u. WE WILL GET MORE OF THOSE TAYLOR AND SKZ CRUMBS NEXT YEAR 🕯️🕯️🕯️

@yonglixx my sun sunny sunshine!!!! you might be one of the most supportive people on tumblr and i think we as a community need more people like u around. your light and positivity doesn’t go unnoticed. im glad to call u my friend 🌞

@ortali my cutie ortal… my favorite hyunie stan ever. me and u are the same and i miss u so dearly everyday whenever u aren’t here. tumblr isn’t the same without your presence. you bring me so much comfort and serenity and im so thankful that the world brought you to me 😣💘

@seungs: ik u hate sappy things but i will still shamelessly admit you are one of my favorite people ever here. im always here for your thoughts like i neEEED to hear them u know. you are so wise and collected and talented (ggoat = greatest gif maker of all time) that i aspire to be like u in so many ways like i just adore u so much hehe. i hope to be like u or whatever woodz said. i hope we get to meet once skz all around the world drags their booties to here mwah 💋

@seo-changbinnies: my trusted pc trader like trust all of my bin pcs will come to your way every comeback. it’s a tradition atp to stress over the international mail but i wouldn’t change a thing. u are a joy to be around and a blessing to this hellsite. so much happiness and joy radiating your tags that i couldn’t imagine tumblr without your presence. love u sososoo much 💖

@hyunsung: hello HELLOOOOO reach out to me im one of your biggest fans. i see a gifset of yours and i will be getting that thing to at least 1k notes like that’s the minimum they all deserve. you make art here and i think everyone should acknowledge it and appreciate it!!!!!!!! your name is mona just like one of the most famous art pieces of this whole world. i think it tells so much ‼️‼️

@chrisbangs my liiii my little moon… u are one of my first stayblr friends and i love u to the moon and back. whenever we catch up it’s like catching up with an old childhood bestie. nothing changed and the connection and love is always there. u mean so much to me than words could ever describe. i will forever be here rooting for you thousands miles away but our hearts will stay always connected 💘

@young-jae my forever only love sohvi. u have been here for me since the day one like im not even kidding… u know me through and through and i consider u my family at this point. i know if i fall to a dark place, i got your shoulder to lean on and that means the world to me. and same with you. you own my heart forever and always. i need to hug u so badly, i know i have the bestest hug in the world stored for u that i have been holding bag just to save it for u 💘 esc2024 here we come

@ye-xiu i feel like me and u are a married couple at this point like we have been through so much together and separately too like WOWIUUEEEEEE u are like a solid rock to me. a constant force that i can count on and i value it so much. i feel like i have told u this before but i love when u write.. u have a way with your words that always seem to touch places in my heart that i didn’t even know were there. hmm.. whatever does it ever drive u crazy how fast the night changes but it will never change me and u (that’s literally 1d lyrics but it just fits us)

@huiracha omg i adore u so much like 😭😭😭😭😭 IM SIMPLY A PEASANT WHILE PERCEIVING UR CONTENT. the way i have like actually kicked my feet few times in my bed when u rebloged something from me.. idk u are like my tumblr crush marie.. i just had to let u know here publicly!!!!!

@mybodyfails my sweetest oli with sososooooo much love to give…. u are sooooooo special. always rooting for me and hyping me up like half of my self confidence comes from your kindness. i hope you that passionate love you give out to the world will find you eventually. im glad to act as a cupid in your life too like that’s one of my greatest accomplishments and i will be mentioning it in my next job interview 😼

@hyumjim my funny guy Emily… u are like one of the funniest and craziest (in a good day at) people i have ever met. your energy irl also is just so joyful like i for real feel like i would never be depressed if i could spend at least few days a week with you (maybe that’s why u are a therapist… woah 🫨)

#vilmas follow forever

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